Shine for You
by VioletCrystals
Summary: Suffering from PTSD, both as a result of war and a tumultuous relationship, Korra returns home to recover. When dealing with anxiety, depression, and regret, it is difficult to allow yourself to confront your true emotions, for you never know how they may destroy you. Then, one day, a woman on a motorcycle crashes into her, and suddenly Korra can no longer hide from her feelings...
1. Introduction

**Hi. So I don't own the Legend of Korra or any of its characters.**

* * *

 **Introduction**

 **...**

It was a clear night, being early August, the summer storms had finally decided to move west and the there was only a ghost of a cloud remaining in the night sky. It quivered before he twinkling stars, and a soft cold wind helped it along as it struggled to catch up the moving storm. It was a clear night, a cool night. Most houses had opted to turn their air conditioning off and open all the windows, allowing the sweet, cool, night air to drift inside and wash away the stale scent of the hot mugginess that had assaulted the homes not but a few hours ago, when the sun had still been shining and the last bits of humidity clung to the air. It was a clear night, the sounds of the city could be heard far off, far, far, off, here in the suburbs it was mostly peaceful, save for the occasional rumble of a car as it made its hasty way through the deserted streets.

In one of those houses, one that was not particularly unique, save for the occupants who inhabited it, there lied a girl, nay, a young woman, comfortably in her very early twenties, awake on her back, tangled in her sheets as if she had been in a fight with them and indeed she had, for ever since she had found her way beneath their once comforting depths, she had tossed and turned, huffed, and moaned, slapped her hand to her forehead and ran it wearily down the length of her face as her mind raced, and her muscles ached, and twitched, and itched, fingers found their way into tangled brown hair as blue eyes squeezed shut again and yet another exhausted and irritated and dejected moan escaped past clenched teeth and flittered into the clear, cool, early August night.

…

Of all the things that she knew, she knew, and she constantly tried to remember to tell herself over and over and over again, that there was nothing wrong with her. First and foremost, she was very smart, very talented, and had always known she was meant to do something big with her life. So why was she back here, at twenty-two years old, in her old bedroom, in her parents' house, still with no degree, and no money, and no job, and very recently (three weeks to be exact) no boyfriend, feeling like she had been drifting aimlessly through life ever since she graduated high school more than five years ago?

When she was seventeen and driving away from her high school for the last time after she received her diploma, this was not how she pictured she would be at twenty-two years old. No… this was not at all how she pictured it. It felt like she had been on the right track when she started at university in the fall, right after high school, but that was like the beginning of life as she would ever know it. Everywhere she turned there was something, every time she felt like she had it under control, life surprised her, and she discovered that in fact, she had never been in control. And finally as she lied there on her back, feeling tired and sad and angry and restless, she threw every one of her inhibitions out into the air and a tight, "Fuck it. Fuck everything," squeezed its way past clenched teeth and finally she kicked the covers off of her, rolled out of bed and went to her window. She stuck her head out into the night air, and a moment later she was standing out on the slanted roof, her eyes closed her face to the sky, and that sweet cool wind came and made sport of teasing her hair across her face and peppering her cheeks with playful kisses and fluttered her shirt against her naked skin and raised goosebumps on her flesh and tried to lift her into the sky so she could drifted up into the night but in vain.

This was what she had needed. She breathed in the fresh air and already she felt her mind let go of what it had been holding onto all night, and as the wind rid the homes of the hot air desperately trying to make a stand in all those houses, it also purged her mind of the noise which prevented her from sleeping. Slowly, she settled herself down on the roof, and drew her knees up to her chest.

"There is nothing wrong with you," she whispered. The words hung in the air before her before taking flight into the sky. "There is _nothing_ wrong with you."

It had been a long summer; she and her boyfriend of four years had just gone through a long and painful breakup. She had met him during her time in the military; it had been love at first sight. Mako was everything a girl could ever want in a man. He was tall, so tall, and incredibly handsome. He was smart, disciplined, and everything he set out to achieve, he got it. He came from nothing, where she had her parents, he only had his younger brother, Bolin, who he had taken care of ever since their parents died way back when Mako had been barely seven years old. She had joined the military shortly after discovering she would not be able to afford to continue to attend university, and she knew that through enlisting she would be able to go to college for free, anywhere that she chose, after three years of service. Mako had joined because he had been forced to choose; military service or jail. He and Bolin had been homeless most of their lives, and in order to survive they had participated in a lot of gang related activities. He always made sure he and his little brother never got in too deep, but Bolin was often reckless and during a drug deal gone wrong, Mako had chosen to take the fall for one of Bolin's mistakes. He would have had to go to jail for up to twenty years if they had not given him the option of serving out his time through the military. When they met, Korra had fallen for him instantly, but it had taken him some time before he saw her the same way. They became close friends in the beginning; they ended up getting stationed overseas together and saw each other through some terrible times. It wasn't until he saw how much he was able to lean on her that he realized he wanted to be with her, and when they had returned to the states, they got an apartment together.

Both of them suffered nightmares and severe mood swings caused from what they experienced while at war. Even with Mako by her side, every time she put her uniform on, Korra felt herself deteriorating. Finally, after a terrible mental breakdown, she was sent to Psychiatry where she was deemed unfit for duty, and she received an Honorable discharge, conveniently, right at her three year mark, a year before her contract would have been over.

Mako though, had remained in the service. In a way, he never forgave her for leaving him to deal with it on his own, because he was not allowed to break his contract otherwise he would go to jail. He also had not much of a desire to leave anyway. Despite the fact that he had been to war and seen and done awful things that would stay with him forever, he liked it. The discipline, and the purpose of it all was the structure he craved in his life. His nightmares were never as bad as Korra's. But he still loved her, depended on her, needed her. She was his best friend, and the university Korra had wanted to go to was far away. But she loved Mako, so when he asked her to stay, she had stayed and gone to the city's community college and taken a part time job a retail store close by.

Her hours were not constant like his. Her work schedule was no consistent and she always had homework, and projects to work on. Unknown to Mako, school was the one thing keeping Korra from falling into depression or anxiety; she _needed_ to remain focused on the future, but he needed _her_. When he wanted to be with her, she was not available and it made him resentful. When she wanted to be with him was angry, tired, or gone. The inconsistencies led to fighting, the fights involved yelling, and swearing at each other, holes in the wall, tears being shed, then long periods of silence. Early on when the fights first started, they always ended up back in each others' arms, softly kissing one another, murmuring to each other how sorry they were, how it would never happen again, they were "just tired" "hadn't eaten much" "had a rough day" "I love you I'm just so stressed with work/school" and they would fall asleep after tenderly making love. But as the fights continued, they would go days without talking to each other. Each of them dreaded coming home, once they went a whole month without speaking, even while they lied together in the same bed, not touching, turned away from each other. The last year of their relationship had been fighting, and finally, after they had gone weeks sleeping in separate rooms, she recognized that it would never get better. Mako wanted her to stay home, have children, and be a mother and wife, and nothing more. She loved him, but she couldn't do it. She had never wanted to live simply, or be taken care of while all of her own ambitions flew away while she drove to soccer practice and attended PTA meetings. So she had packed her things, and even when he cried and pleaded with her to stay, she had taken his face into her hands and kissed him.

"I can't do this Mako," she'd whispered through tears. Her hands were on his cheeks, her forehead pressed to his. His hands covered hers and his lips reached for hers again.

"Please," he had implored, his soft lips grazing hers. "Please Korra, I"ll do anything."

"We've been trying for a year…"

"I love you. We've been together for four, we can't just throw that away…"

"I can't…" she had taken his hands then and squeezed them, and he had pulled her into his chest and held her as her shoulders quaked. "Mako…" she closed her eyes and swallowed her tears, trying to breathe, trying to remain strong, trying not to let herself melt into his arms the way she always had. She breathed him in, one last time, she allowed herself to revel in how warm, and comforting, and beautiful he always felt, and she held that breath, as if to save it, lock it away some place so she could never let it go; not totally. And then she stepped back, took his hands and kissed each one of them, and she let it go, let him go, as she breathed, and turned away.

"There is nothing wrong with you," she had said out loud, as she drove away. Her voice cracked, and tears fell from her eyes, and she let a few fall, then she wiped them away and forced the rest of them down. She breathed deeply. Took a drink of water. Sat up straight. Focused on the road before her. She cleared her throat, and said it again.

"There is nothing wrong with you," the wind snatched it straight from her lips from her place on the roof. She had been away from him for three weeks, she had cried for a week straight, for another week she had remained in bed without moving except to go to the bathroom, and when her mother forced her to, to eat. By the third week, she had forced herself to get up and sort out her priorities. She still felt an ache, she still fought the urge to get in her car and drive back to their apartment and throw herself in his arms, she still felt sad every so often throughout the day, but she forced herself to focus, and in doing so, she slowly got better.

"There is _nothing. Wrong. With you._ " The words resonated into the night, and finally, her mind finally felt clear enough for her to go to sleep.

 **...**

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 **SO. It feels weird, but also kind of good to be back on this site. I'm pretty sure all of my old following as moved on with their lives, considering I met most of them in 2006. So I've been going through a lot since I graduated high school, and I've finally reached a point in my life where I feel like I'm finally doing what I _should_ be doing. This fic is kind of personal, as it is base loosely off of me. It is a bit of an incentive for me to start writing, for real writing again, since I haven't in such a long time and I MISS it so much. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it felt SO good to write. I finally feel like I got my old flow back. The whole story will not be this deep and slow, I promise, I have something good planned so if you stick around I promise you won't regret it. **

**Reviews are always wonderful.**

 **If you have a problem with run on sentences... wellllll... thaaaaaaat is just how I talk. Sorry about all the typos and grammar mistakes; I don't like editing.**

 **I'd like to thank my dear _Ariel4891_ , if you do end up reading this. If you hadn't decided to continue your long lost fic, I never would have come back here, and I would never have felt the long missed joy of writing this first chapter. I know it was not intentional, but it meant a lot, and I honestly love you for it, so thank you. **


	2. Chapter 1: Collision

**Chapter 1: Collision**

 **...**

Going for a run early in the morning had become routine for her, when she had finally decided it was time to recover. Working out had always been an outlet for her anyway, ever since high school and especially during her time in the military. It was early October, almost five weeks had gone by since she and Mako had broken up. Slowly but surely, she was beginning to feel more like herself than she had felt in years.

The sun had not yet risen over the horizon, though the sky anticipated its arrival in the east and the stars began to dim as the inky hues faded to blue. Birds began to sing, and through her window Korra heard them as she threw her hair into a ponytail and tied her running shoes. She whistled as she shuffled down the stairs, and Naga's great white head bounded over to meet her.

"You ready to run girl?" the dog jumped up and placed her front paws on Korra's chest and licked her face in response. Korra smiled and kissed her best friend. "Awesome, let's go."

The trail they took was one of Korra's favorites. It was just outside of her neighborhood, she and Naga jogged towards the thicket of trees to where the trail began, in a great grassy meadow. When they reached it, she stopped, and as the sun entertained the idea of rising, she stretched her legs in the early golden light. October was her favorite month, the air was so cool, almost cold, not quite, but almost. The sound of birds singing still remained, though many had begun to gather as the prospect of cold weather became more and more apparent.

Korra raised her arms over her heads, breathed deeply, then looked down at her dog. "Let's go girl." And the two bounded off down the trail. The trail snaked around the meadow and ran steady for a little bit, then it began to slope as it met the tree line, and into the forest they ran. It was a little darker beneath the cover of the trees, though some spots of sunlight made their way through the leaves. The slope continued for almost a mile, then it leveled where the sounds of the rushing river could be heard. The riverbed had been dry in some parts for some time, but the rains had returned towards the end of August and now it flowed. Korra followed the trail along the river for about ten miles until she reached her spot. She had stumbled upon this place by accident, one day when she had run a little beyond here and turned back, she had tripped on a rock and fallen through the brush and landed here, painfully collecting an assortment of bruises and cuts on her arms, legs and stomach. When she had recovered, she found she was in a small glade where some water from the river had run off and flowed into a pool completely encompassed by the cover of the trees. Korra and Naga climbed onto the big flat rock at the top of the small waterfall.

"Phew!" Korra breathed. She put her hands on her head and caught her breath, then stretched again, and lied down on her back. Naga made her way down the rocks so she could reach the pool, and soon Korra heard the splash of her dog jumping into the water. For a moment, she contemplated joining her, but as her body temperature lowered she decided it was cool enough outside. So she resigned to lying there, her eyes drifted shut and the sounds of the forest sent sent her into a state of deep meditation.

It was Naga's low growl and soft bark that she heard first. She opened her eyes. "What is it girl?" She sat up, and the low rumble of an engine penetrated the peace of the forest. It drew closer quickly, and as she listened, Korra thought it sounded like a dirt bike… maybe two or three of them. She climbed up just enough that she could see the trail, and sure enough, a couple minutes later, three riders on dirt bikes zoomed past her, completely oblivious to her presence. When they were gone, Korra returned to her rock and sat down, Naga settled down beside her, and with her hand on her dog's head, Korra meditated about twenty minutes longer, before getting up to for the run back home.

She could see the grooves in the dirt where the dirt bikes had been, and after five minutes of running, she heard them coming back. The trail had begun to slop downwards but as she turned just to glance back to see if she could glimpse them, she lost her balance and tripped over her own legs. It was all she could do to yell before she face planted in the dirt. "FUCK!" she yelled, and on scraped knees and hands, she tried to get up, but she didn't move fast enough. The first dirt bike was over the hill, and the rider, surprised to see her was able to swerve just in time to miss her. A second later the second driver soared right over her head, but if Korra hadn't ducked, they would have caught her right in the face. The third biker was right behind the second one, and they clearly did not see Korra ahead of them until the very last minute. They had been trying to jump but saw they hadn't gotten enough momentum and would definitely hit her right on. So the rider with all their strength, leaped off the bike and thrust it away, and it crashed into the trees while they slammed right into Korra and the two of them fell head over heels all the way down to the bottom of the hill. Korra felt like she hit ever sharp rock on the trail, and when she stopped falling, her head crashed into, with finality, the hardest rock God ever placed on this earth, causing her ears to ring and her eyes to smart.

"OWWWWWW!" she gasped angrily. "WHAT THE FFFFFF-FUCK!"

The rider was fairly well armored up and wearing a helmet and so she knew they weren't as bad off as her. They were flat on their stomach and slowly trying to pull their self up into sitting.

"Why the HELL are you guys riding so hard on a fucking running trail?!" she yelled. "You could've fucking killed me- FUCK that _hurt_!"

The rider was panting, and struggling with their helmet. "I'm sorry-," Korra heard behind the face protector. "We were- fuck-," it was a woman's voice, and she was getting irritated with her helmet. She pulled off her gloves tossed them aggressively aside and tried again, and as it came off, she said, "We didn't know anyone would be out here this early." Long, shiny, black hair spilled like a waterfall over heaving shoulders. Clear green eyes filled with concern landed on her face and the woman quickly crawled over to her, grimacing a little at a bruise somewhere on her armored body. "Are you alright? I am so sorry!"

"I'm fine," Korra growled, though no matter how she moved, she couldn't help but grimace in pain and it showed on her angry face.

"No you're not- you're bleeding- oh God!" Cool, soft hands took a hold of her face. "Look at me, follow my finger, you may have a concussion."

"I don't have a fucking-," Two things happened next. The woman's companions arrived, having realized she was no longer following behind them, and Naga bounded out the trees and knocked the woman to the ground, bearing her teeth in her face.

"Get off of her!" One of the riders yelled. She removed her helmet and Korra saw she was perhaps slightly younger than the rider on the ground. She had short black hair, tan skin, and green eyes which flashed as she jumped off her bike and ran towards her trapped friend. She stopped when Naga snapped her jaws and growled at her. "Good dog," She said with her hands up. Naga showed her her teeth. She did not dare take another step forward. "Hey, call off your dog!" she ordered to Korra.

Korra growled in return but decided it would be best if Naga did not snap the woman's head off. "Naga!" she said shortly. Her dog returned to her and began to tenderly lick her face.

"Asami are you okay?"

"I'm fine." The woman named Asami said. The second rider helped her up and their friend on the last bike removed her helmet and walked over to them, a stoic expression on her face. "We need to get you to a hospital." Asami knelt down beside Korra, ignoring Naga's threatening growl.

"I told you I'm fine," but then the ringing sound returned to her ears and she rubbed her ear with the palm of her hand. "Fine," she repeated, and hit her ear harder when it didn't go away.

"Hey, hey can you hear me? Look at me! Opal do you have your phone with you?"

"No I left it in the truck."

"Zhu Li? Did you?"

"Already on it."

"Hey, hey!" The ringing in Korra's ears was getting worse and she could barely comprehend what was going on. She was getting dizzy, but she continued to try and stand while simultaneously smacking the woman's hand away.

"I'm fine, let me just…" she faltered, black dots invaded her vision. "I could walk it off!"

"Hey! Stay with me!"

"I was…" she was slipping. "This is nothing… I was in the war… let me… just… walk." The last thing she heard was Naga's wine, the last thing she knew, her head was resting in the woman called Asami's lap, and soft, pleading lips was the last thing she saw, before she fell into darkness.

…

The first thing she knew when she returned, was the smell. It was a smell she had grown to hate when she had been overseas. The smell of antiseptic. Of latex… and Lysol. For a full minute, she couldn't remember anything past the military, and her mind convinced her that she was still in the service, still at war, and Mako was lying in the cot next to her, groaning in pain. She remembered the mine… the dust, the ringing in her ears… the blood. She tried to move. It hurt. She tried to open her eyes. That hurt too, but less. The first thing she saw, bright fluorescent light. It hurt her head. She closed her eyes again. This hurt too much. She slipped back into darkness, hoping Mako was okay.

…

The first thing she knew when she returned once again, was that smell. Only now, it was less aggressive. She smelled sheets that had been power washed, and she felt them pulled up over her hips. She tried to move, and felt her hand make tentative contact with her forehead. Her whole entire body was sore. "Fuck…" she mumbled. She knew she was in a hospital. She tried to open her eyes. Slowly, a soft fluorescent light greeted her. She closed her eyes again, and swallowed, realizing she was thirsty. Her throat felt as if it was on fire. For a full minute, her memories floated around outside of her, and could barely remember her own name. Then, one by one, they returned, slowly at first, and then like a torrential wave they crashed back, and she remembered what had happened. "Ughh…" she groaned. She went on runs in the morning because it helped her relax. Not because she wanted to get plowed over by three psycho biker chicks and end up in the hospital reminiscent of her time spent across the ocean in a warzone.

Slowly, she pulled herself up. _How did I get here?_ She wondered. And where the hell was her dog? A soft growl distracted her from her thoughts about her dog, and the pains of hunger caused her to wonder how long she had been out and when were they going to decide it was time to feed her.

As if on cue, the door to her hospital room opened. "Oh good, you're awake." Korra looked up and slowly recognized one of the women from the trail. What was her name? The woman was carrying a tray with a glass of water, a grilled cheese, and a fruit cup on it. She set it down in Korra's lap then stood back and pushed her glasses up on the bridge of her nose. "Just as I thought." She continued to check Korra's pulse, and forehead. "Any dizziness?"

Korra frowned. "No."

"Good." She said. Her manner was peculiar. Stoic, very stoic, but not necessarily mean or condescending. "Here." She handed Korra the glass of water and she downed it thankfully.

"Where's my dog?" She asked, handing the glass back to the woman and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. She picked up the grilled cheese and started wolfing it down.

"They couldn't get to you without shooting her with a tranquilizer. She's at the pound."

"WHAT?!"

"They know she's yours. Stay calm, you don't want to aggravate that." Korra was about to ask what, but a sharp pain in the back of her head alerted her to what it was.

"Ugh…" her fingers found the bandages over the cut and she pressed it gingerly. "Are you a doctor?"

"No. I'm a scientist. I am also a licensed nurse. Asami asked me to take care of you until you were ready to go."

"Asami, the one that ran me over." She practically inhaled the fruit cup then moved the tray onto the night stand.

"She did not run you over. You'd have been out for more than just a day if that had happened."

"I want my dog." Korra tossed the sheets aside and swung her legs over the side of the bed, though she regretted it almost instantly. "Ughhhh," she moaned again, her hand going to her head.

"It'd be in your best interest to rest for at least another day before you do that."

"I'm fine, I've gone through worse."

The woman shrugged indifferently. "You did mention you were in the war."

Korra grimaced. She hated talking about that and was annoyed with herself for spilling about it. She stood, more slowly this time. "I'm fine. I need my dog."

"I really don't recommend you leaving right now."

"You gonna stop me?"

She shrugged again. "Legally I can't."

"Well then."

…

The hospital she had been taken to was about a thirty minute walk from her house. Once outside, Korra spotted the bus stop close to the entrance and contemplated waiting for it before she decided that stretching her sore limbs would be better for her recovery.

"Hey!" There was a far off yell in the parking lot, and Korra ignored it at first, not expecting it to be aimed at her. A moment later, she heard it again followed by a-, "You're up! I'm so glad! How are you feeling?"

The voice was right behind her and she turned and recognized the woman who had crashed into her. Immediately, Korra's face furrowed into a scowl. "I could sue you." She said angrily.

"I took care of all your hospital bills," the woman said quickly. "And your dog is safe, and being treated very well, I personally made sure of it. I can take you to pick her up if you want."

"No thank you." Korra muttered and turned away again.

"Look, I'm sorry," the woman ran to fall in stride with her. "Please." She stood in front of her so couldn't go any further. Korra seethed for a moment, and refused to meet her eyes. "I'm sorry. I am really, really sorry. We shouldn't have been biking on that trail. It was dangerous, and reckless, and I am so very lucky that you weren't hurt more than you were." Out of the corner of her eye, Korra saw the woman heave a sigh. "Please. Let me make it up to you. At least let me take you to pick up your dog."

Korra shuffled her feet and reluctantly met those imploring eyes. "What, did you come here on a fucking Harley?"

Those lips turned up into a smile. "No, I came here in a fucking crossover." She started towards the parking lot. Korra rolled her eyes, but followed her, suddenly too tired to successfully convince herself that more exercise was really what she needed. The woman turned to her. "I'm Asami by the way. What's your name?"

"Korra."

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 **If you don't mind, reviews are nice. :)**


	3. Chapter 2: Ringing

**Chapter 2: Ringing**

 **...**

" _What do you want to do when you get out?"_

" _My contract isn't up for another five years Korra."_

" _There's nothing wrong with thinking about the future."_

 _He scoffed. "The future huh…" he mused quietly. After a short moment he shrugged. "I don't know. This is probably the best I've ever had it to be honest. And I kind of like it."_

" _Really? But there's so much more out there to do."_

" _I don't really know how to think in terms of… experiencing the good stuff… of, I guess, living. Really living, as people say. It's always been Bolin and me against the world. I just want to survive."_

 _She sighed. "That's pretty shitty you know."_

 _He was silent for a moment. "It's all I've ever known."_

" _Well… Hopefully we'll survive this. Then maybe one day I'll show you how to live." He looked at her then. She raised her eyebrows at him and he smiled slowly out of the corner of his mouth._

" _Sure."_

 _She shouldered her rifle as he brought the jeep to a halt outside the gate. "Alright, let's go."_

…

Korra was sore and exhausted by the time Asami drove up to her house. There was a particularly nasty bruise on her stomach that hurt every time she breathed. She felt as if she had been hit by... well, a girl flying off her dirt bike at eighty miles per hour. Her head still throbbed and her fingers kept unconsciously brushing the bandaged cut at the nape of her neck. She was in fact so out of it, she hadn't even noticed Asami had cut the engine off.

"Here let me." Before Korra could protest, the woman had jumped out of the car and walked around to open her door.

"I'm not actually gonna sue you, you know," Korra said irritably as she climbed out of her seat. She grimaced slightly at what it took to move, and a look of pain passed through her face. "I mean, you shouldn't have been out on that trail, and you could have killed me but… whatever. I'm not dead. So you don't have to go kissing my ass, your money and assets and shit are safe."

"I'm not afraid you're going to sue me," Asami said, her brow furrowing slightly.

Korra scoffed. "Yeah, sure."

Asami cocked her head to the side and put her hand on her hip as she studied the brown skinned blue-eyed young woman before her. "Is it really so difficult to believe I might actually just be worried about you and your health? You know, because I'm a decent person?"

"What is a decent person…," Korra mumbled, walking around her to open the back door and let Naga out.

"Okay so fine, maybe I was a _little_ worried about a lawsuit." Asami said from behind her.

"A little?" Naga bounded out of the car and jumped the fence to the backyard to take care of business.

" _Yes_. A little." Asami replied forcefully. "I honestly wouldn't care that much if you sued me. What I wouldn't be able to bear would be if you'd gotten seriously hurt… or worse."

Korra faced her again. "Well, I'm fine. And I'm not going to sue you so you don't have to worry about that. So.." she shrugged.

Asami shuffled her feet. "So."

A short moment of silence passed between them. "Well, goodbye." And she turned towards her house but Asami called out.

"Wait!"

Korra stopped and half turned. "What?"

"Let me take you to dinner."

"What?"

"Dinner." Asami repeated with a smile. "Please."

"Why?"

"Because I'd like to."

Korra turned all the way around. "You-,"

She never finished that sentence. Suddenly her ears were ringing violently and her head felt as if it had been smashed with a sledgehammer. She fell to her knees and screamed. "AAAAAAAAAAGHHH!" her hands flew to her ears and tears blurred her vision. Distantly, she heard someone scream her name.

 _"Korra!"_

"Mako?!"

 _"Korra!"_

And right before her bleary eyes, Asami's form blurred and the quiet suburb she had resided in for the past five weeks drifted away. There was an explosion and Korra felt herself fall hard on her back. Dust and rubble were all around her, her ears rang with a vengeance, it was all she could hear. And then she saw figures running by her, small figures... children. And Mako's face appeared above her.

" _We need to get out of here!"_

" _What?"_

 _She couldn't move. Her ears still rang, and as Mako yelled at her she realized she couldn't feel her legs. "I can't feel my legs!" She shouted. "Mako I can't feel my legs!"_

" _Get up Korra we need to run!"_

" _I can't feel my legs!"_

Then suddenly Mako was gone.

Suddenly she was at home, on the couch in her living room, her father bent over her, talking to her in earnest but as she looked at him she realized she couldn't understand a word he was saying.

"Dad?!" she gasped, sitting up quickly, panting, coated in sweat, with her dads hands firmly on her arms.

"Whesf srgjbs dsfjr?" Her father said.

Bewildered, Korra frowned at him and she could feel tears had made their way down her face. "What?! Dad what are you saying?!"

"I said are you alright?"

When he became comprehensible to her, Korra put a hand over her racing heart, and willed her breathing to slow down. She heaved a sigh of relief, then suddenly, she was sobbing. "I was back there..." she croaked. Her face in her hands, she felt her dad wrap her in his arms and shush her.

"It's okay Korra, you're not there anymore." She cried and cried and he comforted her until finally, it felt like her body had been wrung of all tears.

"Let me get you some water." Tonraq said quietly. Korra nodded slowly.

"Get Naga too." She said as he got up.

She pressed her fingers to her temples and closed her eyes, almost in trepidation, fearing that if she closed them too long she would be back in that horrid place.

"Korra?" A soft voice said. Korra's eyes flew open, a quick moment of fear passed through her, that she had been transported back again to someplace else. She was relieved when she saw she was still in her living room, and she found the source of the voice sitting a little ways away from her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked more out of surprise than contempt.

"I hurt you." She whispered.

Korra sighed exasperatedly. "You didn't send me to war."

"But that.. this, it happened because-,"

"I have PTSD, that's not your fault," she said irritably. "You don't have to go making yourself feel responsible so that you can have some little charity project to solidify your stance as 'decent'. Go build a fucking church somewhere."

"Your dad said this never-,"

"Goddamnit just get the hell out of here!" she snapped. Asami's jaw clicked shut as Tonraq returned with the glass of water. She stood quickly.

"I'm sorry." She said steadily. For a visible moment, she tried to find something else to say, but decided against it. "It was nice to meet you." She said to Korra's father. He nodded and with one last glance at Korra, she showed herself the door.

With Naga on the couch beside her licking her cheek, Korra downed the glass of water.

"Korra," her father said quietly. She neglected meeting his eyes and resumed to rub Naga behind her ears. "You need to get help."

Korra shook her head. "I just need to sleep. And walk. And run. And get back in school. I'm fine dad."

"This has never happened to you before."

"You don't know what's happened to me," she said, perhaps more harshly than she needed to.

"This isn't healthy. Denying the severity of your condition will only make it worse."

Korra sighed tiredly and close her eyes. Naga, forgetting that she was just about as big as Korra, settled down in her lap and wined in concern. "I'm fine." She was so tired. She wanted to sleep for a year. The truth is, she had been struggling ever since she had returned from the battlefront. She had struggled through her last year in the service, and struggled while she had been with Mako. There was not a day when Korra did not think about the past. Most days, it was a passing moment, and she could keep herself grounded in the present, but some days it consumed her and was all she ever thought about. Some days, she hadn't been able to leave her house because she was too consumed with anxiety and depression.

She had learned that keeping busy was the best way for her to cope with it, which was why she started school as soon as her contract ended. The effects of the war on her were more bearable then too, because she had been with Mako. When they fought, it was a distraction; an unhealthy distraction, but a distraction nonetheless. When they weren't fighting, the two of them had the same nightmares, and would often wake each other up with their screams, then fall asleep again, or lay awake, together, holding hands and reminding each other that they were safe, and home. But Mako wasn't there anymore. Korra had had a few nightmares when she had moved back home, but her father was right, nothing like this had ever happened to her before.

"It's just the breakup," she said softly, tiredly, trying to convince herself as much as her father that it truly was nothing. "My brain is just…. On overload. I just need to keep busy." Her eyes had drifted shut and Naga's warm tongue on her had lulled her to sleep.

 _Korra…_

 _Korra!_

 _Her eyes flew open, there was Mako leaning over her, a look of relief, sadness, and fear worn into the lines of his dirty face._

" _Mako?"_

" _You're okay," he said, tears that looked as if he had been holding them off for far too long spilled from his eyes, she felt him squeeze her hand._

" _What happened?"_

 _Mako shook his head, squeezed her hand even tighter, pressed his forehead to her arm. "They're… they're dead. They're all dead."_

 _She frowned. "No…No that's not right."_

" _They're dead…"_

 _No…_

 _They're all dead._

…

After she had passed out on the couch, Korra slept like a rock for three straight days. Dreams and memories mingled together, but mostly, it was darkness. When she finally woke, the first thing she was aware of was the cool and gentle darkness around her that told her it was nighttime. Then next thing she knew, she was laying somewhere soft and very comfortable. Too comfortable. This wasn't her bed. Or any bed in her house. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she did not recognize anything.

"Dad?" her voice was raspy as her throat was very dry. On the nightstand was a pitcher and a glass of water. "Dad?" she called again after she had a good long drink. She couldn't make out much, but she knew the room was big. The bed she lied on was a king size, with a canopy. There was a meager amount furniture, a wardrobe, and a dresser, and Korra saw that most of the light came in through the east wall which was completely made of glass and held two open doors. There were white curtains billowing in the wind, the soft wind, which smelled like the ocean.

 _The ocean?_ The ocean was almost three hours away from where Korra lived. For a moment, she panicked, afraid she was somewhere in her mind and at any moment there would be an explosion. When the moment passed, and she remained in the soft bed, in the peaceful night, with the sweet ocean breeze dancing through her hair, she made the decision to get up. Her feet touched fur when they swung over the bed, and the next thing she knew, Naga had awoken and was standing with her front paws on Korra's chest, joyously licking her face.

Korra laughed. "Hey girl," she said happily. "Wherever we are, I'm glad you're with me." She kissed the dog's great head and the two crossed the room to the beckoning wind. The sand started right outside the doors, and felt wonderful on Korra's bare feet.

 _Is this… a dream?_ After so many years of nightmares, could this be what a dream is like? Keeping a hand on Naga's back for security, she warily ventured out further onto the beach. It was beautiful. The moon was full, the beach was empty. The only sound was of the waves crashing against the shore, pulling back into the ocean, then crashing again into the sand; the soft, white sand, which glowed blue in the moonlight.

They walked right up to the water's edge, and Korra lifted her pajama pant legs and sighed in contentment as the cool water ran over her feet. Oh it was delicious! Peace and tranquility like she had never known passed over her. She sat in the sand, and Naga sad beside her, and the two of them remained there for the rest of the night.

 **…**

* * *

 **While I was writing this my dog kept trying to jump into my lap and cuddle. She thinks she's still a tiny puppy but she's a big girl. A lot like Naga really... :) This chapter was actually spurred by some of my own experiences; after I got out of the military, to this day I still experience anxiety and depression. It's been getting better but ending it with my boyfriend seemed to have set me back a quite a bit and I've only realized this pretty recently, it's like I've had to start the healing process all over again. Writing this helps a lot. Like... a lot. Anyways, thanks for reading, reviews are always wonderful.**


	4. Chapter 3: A Good Start

**Chapter 3: A Good Start**

...

"I don't understand."

"Well, it's not incredibly complex you see, after grants, scholarships and your loans all add up, you still owe this amount of money." The man pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose before pointing at the sum with his pen so Korra could see it.

"I get _that_ ," she said raising her hand in annoyance. "What I don't get is, this school is _known_ for satisfying ninety-eight percent of its students financial aid requirements. So why isn't there anything out there that can take care of this?"

"Ah, well yes, about that, you see," he cleared his throat. "You are a part of the demographic of students whose parents make enough that they can afford to contribute to your education."

"But they _can't_ contribute. That's why I chose _this_ school."

"According to the information you submitted on your application…" the man coughed into his fist and turned to his computer and clicked through some things. "Ah, yes, here it is," he turned the monitor so she could see it. "Your parents should make enough that the financial aid we give you is enough."

"But I'm telling you it's not. You have to fix this! I'm not a bad student, ask my professors, my TAs! I _deserve_ to be here! This isn't right- you can't just deny me an education because I can't afford it!"

The man blinked at her for a moment then shrugged. "Well, have you signed up for work study?" Korra could not help but think how gross he looked, with the shiny bald spot at the top of his head, and his thinning hair. The air conditioning was on and running through the whole building yet he is forehead was slick with a thin layer of sweat. The more she looked at him the grosser he became.

"Everyone signed up for work study. There's not enough work for everyone who's signed up for work study." She huffed exasperatedly. "Come on, please, you can't do this. I need to come back next semester. What am I going to do if I don't? I _need_ college! Please!"

The man shook his head and pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose again. "There's really nothing I can do. According to this, your parents should be able to pay-"

"They fucking can't!" she yell, slamming her hand down on the desk. "Do you think I'd be here begging you for a solution right now if they could?! My parents work hard, but they don't just have that kind of money lying around!"

The man blinked that infuriating blink and cleared his throat again. "They have no college fund, no savings, no-,"

"You remember the fucking recession that hit a few years ago?" she said impatiently. "Both of my parents lost their jobs. In order to keep me fed, and clothed, and housed, my parents had to liquidate all of those funds. Okay?"

The man raised his eyebrows and ran his hand through his thinning hair. "Well…" he said. "It says here that they should be able-,"

"Okay, you know what," she violently shoved her chair out and swung her backpack over her shoulder. "Thanks for nothing."

It was utter and complete bullshit. Her parents didn't make enough that they could pay for the rest of her college, but they made too much that the school would not give her a full ride.

"This is bullshit!" she yelled, kicking a trash can outside the building and sending it rolling through the sidewalk. A few onlookers glanced at her in surprise then scurried off before she erupted even more. Her breath heavy, Korra shouldered her backpack then stalked away. Not wanting to return to her dorm, she walked off campus towards the botanical gardens to calm down.

She could always go back home, and go to community college... the thought made her growl and clench her fists. "This is such bullshit…" she muttered. Back in high school she had played basketball, and run track and field, and she had been really good at it. But when she had applied for colleges she had decided against applying for sports scholarships, because she had wanted to focus solely on school. She had trusted that she had made a good choice in university, but now, she regretted it hard. She walked up hill through the botanical garden, past flowers, shrubs, bushes, through trees, for about an hour until she reached the top. The sun was halfway through setting on the horizon and Korra looked out at it and sighed. Sunsets here were amazing. The red mountains on the horizon glowed gold in the light. The sky erupted in a symphony of red, violet, and orange hues. The city lights reached up into the sky and twinkled like stars. She loved this school. She loved this city. She had made so many wonderful friends and was gaining so much. Her heart ached, and she sighed again, and sat down in the dirt. A cold wind born from an earlier cool breeze picked up and blew right through her. She shivered, suddenly conscious of her bare arms as goosebumps appeared on her skin. One drawback of going to school in the desert was cold nights. It being the middle of December, she could feel the threat of winter caressing her skin in that breeze. She blew into her hands and rubbed them together, then hugged herself.

 _What am I going to do..._ she mused sadly. She had to accept that she wasn't coming back next semester. So what was she going to do? She couldn't just return home and go to community college; it would hurt her pride too much. As the sun set, she racked her brain for ideas. From somewhere stashed away in the memories she had not deemed incredibly important, the image of a man in his dress uniforms entered her mind. She thought back to that day, towards the end of the school year when the man from the Marine Corps recruiting center had visited her homeroom. She had not paid much attention back then, but one thing had resonated with her… _"Serve at least three years, and the military will pay one hundred percent of your tuition, to whichever school you go to."_

She wondered if that was true. If it was… three years isn't long. She would be twenty-one by the time she got out. Then she could go right back to uni and not have to worry about anything. There must also be a lot of other benefits to being a veteran on top of the free college… right? She thought of how on the airplane flight over here, there had been five service members wearing their dress uniforms. Before takeoff the flight attendant had pointed them out and called for a round of applause for the country's heroes. They walked so straight and tall, and looked so proud, like they were a part of some exclusive club. It couldn't be bad… being hailed as a hero wherever she went. She smiled, a slight, small smile. _Maybe…_ The idea grew in her mind, and as the sun set, her heart began to race excitedly. _It's just three years… I could probably even go to school while I'm in the service. People do that right? Yeah, it won't be so bad… Just another experience I could add to my storybook life…_

…

"You know… you don't have to do this."

"Yes I do."

"No, I mean you don't have to bribe me. I'll do it."

He sighed. "I'm just… I'm so worried about her."

"I know."

"I feel like this is all my fault."

"No…"

"It is. I should have done so many things differently. She would never have had to-,"

"She's alive. She's safe. She's loved. That's all you need to focus on right now."

"I just… I want her to be the way she was before. I know that'll never happen but… it breaks my heart every time she..," he choked.

She patted his arm knowingly. "I know."

"You can help her?"

"I'll do my best. I promise."

He smiled and nodded. "Thank you Katara."

She pulled him into a hug. "Anything for you, Tonraq, my dear."

…

She awoke to the tide stretching up to kiss her feet. The first thing she knew, the sand was cool beneath her, but the early morning sun was warm above her. Her eyelids fluttered open. The firs thing she saw was her dog, resting protectively beside her. When Naga saw that her best friend had opened her eyes, her tail thumped the sand and she licked Korra's face gently. Korra smiled, feeling… peaceful. Still. She sat up and stretched, then rubbed the back of her head as she looked around her.

"Well…" she said after a minute. "Either we're still asleep... Or it wasn't a dream." She patted Naga's head then the two of them stood and walked back to the house. Upon entering, as she breathed in she smelled something impeding on the scent of the ocean. It was a warm smell… coffee? Something else… pancakes? Hesitantly, she went to the bedroom door, and with a hand on Naga, she walked through the dim hallway. The sound of oil popping filled her ears, and when she rounded the corner she came upon a cozy sight. A round wooden table in an open dining area was flooded with warm early light pouring through the open glass sliding doors. Here was just as simple as the bedroom she had just emerged, a bowl of lilies decorated the table, the same simple white curtains framed the sliding door and billowed gently in the breeze. In the kitchen there was a little figure with a white bun at the nape of her neck and loops of hair framing her face.

"Good morning Korra." Bright blue eyes lifted to meet hers and a warm sweet smile lifted her aged face. Korra studied her for a moment. There was something so familiar about her, but she just could not place it.

"Good morning…" she said slowly. "Uh… do I… do I know you? I hit my head recently and… well my brain's been pretty fucked up so… if you're like my grandma or something I'm… I'm really sorry."

The old woman chuckled. "Well," she put her hands on her hips. "It's been a few years. You were not so tall the last time I saw you; goodness you're even taller standing than you are when you're laying down!"

"So… you are my grandmother?"

She laughed this time and shook her head as she continued with breakfast. "No dear, I'm an old friend of your family's. My name is Katara."

"Oh…" it sounded familiar. She hoped she hadn't simply forgotten this woman, and that she had just been far too young to remember her. "Hi." She said awkwardly. "Um…" she gestured to the room. "Do you… do you know where… is this your house?"

Katara shrugged as she plated the food. "For now, you could say that."

"What does that me-,"

"Are you hungry?" she interrupted. "Your father told me, you like a green juice first thing in the morning." She picked up a tall glass filled to the brim with a beautiful green liquid and walked it over to Korra.

"Thank you." She accepted it gratefully and took a small sip. It was delicious. She drank it quickly and when she finished she felt brighter almost instantly.

"There! Now, I made some breakfast, no doubt it's what woke you. These pancakes are filled with good stuff; flaxseeds, coconut oil- they're vegan." She smiled. "My late husband… well, he never ate meat or anything from animals and…" she sighed fondly, a look of reminiscence in her eyes. "Well, he influenced me a lot. I haven't had any meat products in…" she calculated in her head. "I'd say almost forty years."

"Is that not sausage?" Korra pointed.

Katara shook her head. "It's soy."

The younger woman wrinkled her nose.

"It's good! I promise. And very healthy." She sat in the chair Katara pulled out for her, then waited for the woman to sit at her own plate across from her before she stabbed the soy sausage with her fork. She sniffed it hesitantly. It smelled like a meat sausage. She took a bite. The taste and texture almost perfectly emulated real breakfast sausage.

"This is wild," she said to Katara with her eyebrows raised.

The older woman laughed. "I told you its good." There were also fresh juicy grapes and apple slices and Korra devoured those happily. With the pancakes Katara set out some gorgeous, purple, chia seed mulberry jam, which, she said proudly, she made herself, and some sweet pure maple syrup. Korra ate the pancakes with both and had seconds of everything, even of the fake sausages; she was ravenous.

After breakfast Korra helped her clean up. Naga was fed too and Korra asked curiously if the dog food was also vegan, causing another laugh to rise from her sweet old host. When the kitchen was clean, Katara took a hold of Korra's elbow.

"Korra my dear, would you mind helping me down to the beach? I'm old, walking through sand is pretty precarious for me, especially with these frail ankles." Korra didn't think there was anything frail looking about the old woman. Yes, she was old, yes, she had a very sweet way about her, but something told her that this woman was once fierce as hell, and even old age couldn't contain it. Nevertheless, she obliged, and the two walked outside down to the beach. The sun was still low in the horizon, the air was still cool. There was nothing to hear but the sound of seagulls and the waves on the shore. Korra breathed deeply.

"So… I'm sure you must be wondering why you're here with me?"

Korra nodded, though she felt she had pretty much pieced it together herself.

"Well. Like I said before, I am an old friend of your family's. I went to school with your grandmother. I haven't been back here in years. I came back to town just a few weeks ago, to visit my son and my grandchildren. Your father happened to run into me just a few days again as we were catching up, he told me all about you, and everything you were going through." She paused and Korra remained silent with her eyes trained on the horizon. "My husband… Aang. He fought in the One Hundred Years War. It was how we met. I was a healer on the front lines. Some of the things he had to… to do. To see..." she sighed as she journeyed back into her vast memory. "It was a lot. And when the war ended, he was just… a broken shell of a man. He just… couldn't go back to the way he was. He had nightmares, some days he would seem fine then suddenly he would retreat into his mind. Some days he wouldn't speak a word to me. Some nights I woke to him crying. He got angry often and we fought a lot."

A lump formed in Korra's throat as she thought about how she and Mako used to fight. "So what happened?" she asked.

"Well…" she gestured to the ocean. "This." She said. "This was his favorite place. I don't know if you've felt it yet, but this place has great spiritual energy. It heals. I'm not saying he came here and breathed some fresh air and suddenly never yelled at me again. But this…," she knelt in the sand and pulled Korra with her, grabbing a handful of the silky white softness in her hands and depositing it into the young woman's palms. "All of this. It was a good start."

Korra nodded. "I can't be here for too long." She said after a little while. "I don't like doing nothing. This place is nice but… I need school. Distractions."

Katara nodded knowingly. "Okay." She said, and smiled, tucking a stray lock of hair behind the younger woman's ear. "Come." She said standing. "We have a lot to do today. I want you to meet my son actually. He teaches at a school not far from here."

"What does he teach?"

"Oh… you'll see."

* * *

 **Ugh.. gross. Katara's husband Aang. I wanted to change it but I decided against it. Didn't want to fuck with your heads too much. And don't worry, Asami hasn't gone anywhere. I changed the rating for this from T to M because I have been writing little bits out that I want to insert in later chapters but they're pretty intense. But yeah, this is a Korrasami, that won't change. It will get romantic up in here. Just bear with me. Please.**

 **Like I said earlier, this is based loosely off me; Korra is going to say the F word. A lot. Something I picked up during my time in the military and I never let it go. This one time I accidentally said it in front of a bunch of kids at a museum and out of embarrassment I stuttered, "Shit, I mean-! Fuck- Damn- Ass fuck shit FUCK-!" before I clapped my hand over my mouth and just... walked away (I have so many issues). My POINT is, I hope you don't have a problem with the F word. Because it ain't going away.**

 **And omg there's this girl I am totally crushing on but I'm afraid she's hetero... ugh... she's so gorgeous and smart and funny and cute... UGH... guys, I am living this fucking fic like... ugh. UGHHHHHH. Okay, enough of me. Please review. I love reviews. Or don't review. I don't care. I am really sleepy. This is some sleepy typing... hhshaha... mmmkay Imma find some wine and go to sleep.**

 **Oh, and sorry about all the mistakes and if it sounds bad, I'm sorry. I didn't edit it. I didn't even read it after I finished it.**


	5. Chapter 4: Herbs and Kebobs

**Chapter 4: Herbs and Kebobs**

 **...**

The house Korra had been brought to was located in a secluded little cove with cypress tree covered cliffs rising up all around it. There was a narrow dirt road that led through a pass up and out of the cove, and she and Katara followed this in an old blue jeep. For miles, as they drove, Korra did not see any other houses, though she thought they could be just as hidden as hers. As they drove, Korra closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the headrest. Her pain was not as bad as it had been the past when she had first woken up at the hospital. Most of her lighter cuts and bruises had diminished and the big ones were less, painful, and more, sore. The cut on her head was healing but it still hurt to touch and if she moved her head too suddenly then a slow throbbing pulse would spread all through her head and she would have to close her eyes. She focused on her breath and did her best to stay calm. Katara did not make it hard; she drove slowly and carefully so all Korra felt was the sweet ocean air against her face.

Upon entering town, Katara set about on her errands and Korra tagged along. First, they went to an arts and crafts store where Katara picked up some blue yarn and knitting needles. "I didn't bring my supplies when I came out here, it completely slipped me mind," she explained. She grabbed several different shades of blue and some silver and white.

"What are you going to make?" Korra asked while they stood in line.

"Oh all types of things. I could teach you if you want. It's very therapeutic."

Korra had smiled slightly. "Maybe." She had never pictured herself knitting; that was something old ladies and politicians did. But she had never imagined a lot of things for herself, so she did not completely dismiss the idea.

After that, they went to the grocery store, and the old woman chattered about, asking Korra's opinion on what she thought of everything; does this papaya smell ripe to you? What about these mangoes? You see how soft they are? Good color, but maybe a few more days and they'll be just right. Ahhh! Lemongrass! You know, I used to grow my own? Here smell it. Do you like it? Look at these beautiful medjool dates! I know you like to run, these are very good for after a workout, if you blend them up with a banana and some almond milk, it replenishes all your lost electrolytes. Mmmm look at this beautiful basil!

After they finished grocery shopping, Katara stopped briefly at the post office to check her mail, then she took her to an herbal pharmacy.

"I never liked drugs stores. You see all those terrible commercials on television, saying how a certain drug may cure one thing while at the same time causing all sorts of side effects? My brother Sokka, God rest his soul," she smiled thinking about him. "He was a fervent meat eater and never listened to Aang or me when we told him what sort of health problems they could cause. The doctors had him on all sorts of medicine at some point. He would take one thing for one ailment, then that would cause side effects that needed to be countered with another drug, which caused more side effects and…" she sighed and shook her head then lifted a finger and shook it sternly at Korra. "Those people, in their white coats behind the drug counters carrying those clipboards and writing off prescriptions; _they_ are the real drug dealers." The herbal pharmacy was amazing. Rows and rows of jars with all sorts of different herbal remedies lined the walls. There were also soaps, incense, and even joints rolled up and ready for puffing, laid out behind glass. It was very clean, and smelled, but was a clean, natural smell. Katara chose her usual but continued to look around for anything new and Korra wandered a little bit.

"Are you looking for anything special?" The woman behind the counter asked her. She was very pretty, maybe about forty years old, with dark brown skin and long hair that came all the way down to her waist, twisted beautifully in elegant locks. Despite her age, her skin almost glowed, her eyes, deep brown, were clear, and she peered at Korra over black rimmed glasses.

"No. I'm just looking." Korra replied.

"IF you need any help, feel free to ask. You name the problem, guaranteed I had the solution," she said with a warm smile.

Korra smiled back. "That's a big promise."

The woman shrugged. "Hey, I've had this store for almost twenty years, and not an unsatisfied customer yet. You wouldn't believe how much power there is in a few herbs."

Korra thought for a moment, and the woman saw the wheels turning in her head and waited. "Well… sometimes I…" she hesitated.

The woman nodded encouragingly. "Yes?"

"I… have some things… in me. That I want to… forget. Sometimes I… I can't stop thinking about them. And it hurts."

The woman nodded again, thoughtfully. "That is actually a much more common ailment than you would think." She said. She walked out from behind the counter top and went to the rows of herbs. "Ah." She said when she found one. She pulled three jars from the shelves, and returned to the counter. She measured out three doses into three smaller containers, then beckoned for Korra to join her.

"This right here," she said tapping the first jar. "Is passionflower. Brew it as tea. It's pretty strong, so try one cup before bed. It shouldn't knock you out per say, but it will help ease your mind a quite a bit. After you know how it affects you, you can take it in the morning. This one right here," she tapped the second jar. "This is a lemon balm, a concentrated paste. Rub it on your temples and at the nape of your neck whenever you feel stressed or anxious. It works almost immediately. And this one." She picked up the last jar, this one was clear and Korra could see the capsules within it. "This one is a supplement, L-theanine. It's a natural amino acid found in green and black teas, but this is hyper concentrated. Take two in the morning, and two in the afternoon, and it should help you focus more easily."

Korra touched one of the jars timidly. "I don't… I don't think I could afford-,"

The woman smiled and pushed the three jars towards her. "Don't worry. This one's on the house. You've got about a month's supply of each. If you like them, and you want more, you know where to find me." Korra hesitated for a moment, then nodded.

"Okay."

"Here," the herbal pharmacist placed the jars in a paper bag, and also threw in a couple bars of soap and a piece of chocolate. "You have a great day, alright honey?"

Korra smiled shyly. "Thank you."

After ringing Katara up, they walked out of the store, and the old woman looped her arm through Korra's. "Alrightie. Let's drop these things back off at the house and go see my son then, shall we?"

Korra nodded. "Okay." Once they were back on the road after having emptied all of their spoils out at the house, Korra relaxed her head against the headrest and closed her eyes. Her head did not hurt so much, and she was tired, but in a good way. She was glad they had spent the morning doing things, and the afternoon sun felt good on her skin as they drove through the happy little town.

"How many grandkids do you have?" she asked after a little while.

"Four. Two beautiful girls, and two beautiful boys."

"How old are they?"

"Ahh… good question…" Katara replied with a light chuckle. "Well, I believe the oldest, my granddaughter Jinora is in the process of filling out college applications… but she skipped two grades so that puts her at… fifteen. Ikki, just began her first year of high school, her birthday is just around the corner; she's turning thirteen. Meelo is two years younger than Ikki, and Rohan is the baby… I believe he is five years old? Yes. I could be wrong, I am an old woman and not very accurate with these things."

Korra whistled. "That is a full house."

"Oh yes," Katara said nodding. She glanced over at Korra. "Do you like children?"

 _Children._ And then it was like a switch in her mind was suddenly flipped. Her eyes were closed but she still saw them. Little feet, running through her mind. They were singing, dancing, showing off their drawings to her, asking if she had any candy for them. A pain shot through her head.

"Aggh!" she gasped. _No no no no no!_ Little feet… running. _NO!_ She willed her eyes to open. "NO!" she had her fist clutched to her heart, but the visions dissipated. Panting, she held herself and realized Katara had pulled the car over.

"Hey." She felt her warm wrinkled hand on her arm. For a moment, Katara didn't say anything, and Korra's breathing steadied. She inhaled deeply, held it for a moment, and then slowly let it out.

"I'm sorry," she said softly.

"You've nothing to be sorry for."

Korra closed her eyes again. "I'm such a fucking freak." She muttered.

"No." Katara responded. "No you're not."

Korra swallowed, slowly letting her fist relax. "Maybe it would be best if I didn't meet them. It's not… I don't not like… kids. I just. I don't think-,"

"Korra," Katara's voice was gentle, yet firm. "They will love you. No matter what. But if you're not ready, then we can do something else and meet them another day. You don't have to feel guilty. I am here to help you. Your health is my number one priority."

"I'm just…" she struggled. Struggled to find what she wanted to say, struggled to decide what it was she was feeling, struggled to understand what it was she wanted to do, versus what she thought she should do, struggled against the urge to break down and cry, struggled against this scream that bubbled at the back of her throat, she struggled to not jump from the car and run away, and run, and run, and run…

Katara started the car, and slowly began to drive. She did not tell Korra where they were going. They drove for about ten minutes through the town, until they pulled up to a high school.

"Gran Gran?" A pretty girl with short brown hair and brown eyes carrying a side bag full of books walked up to the side of the jeep.

"Jinora, hi honey, how was school? Where's Ikki?"

"She's at cheerleading practice."

"Oh yes that's right," Katara said in a way that made Korra think she didn't actually not know where Ikki was. "Well, I was just out taking Korra for a little drive when I remembered it was about time you got off school. Would you like to join us?"

The pretty brown eyes rested on Korra, and Jinora smiled. "Hi Korra, I'm Jinora, it's so nice to meet you!" she offered her hand and Korra took it, smiling weakly.

"Hi."

She opened the door to the back seat. "Oh! Hello!" she exclaimed when Naga greeted her with a giant lick right on her face. "Who is this?"

"Naga."

"Naga, do you mind if I share the back seat with you? Thanks, you're such a beautiful girl! Yes you are!"

"Jinora, do you remember the place we went to last summer… down by the beach…" Katara asked, as she pulled out of the parking lot.

Jinora thought for a moment, stroking Naga's head, then her face lit up. "Oh yes, I remember! Korra, you're going to love it! Is that where we're going?"

"What is it?" Korra asked. JInora's gran gran only smiled.

"You'll see."

They pulled up to a strip of stores close to the beach. It appeared to be insignificant, but after they parked and started walking towards one of the shots, Korra smelled something… amazing. "What is this place?" she asked. Naga bounded a little ahead of them, similarly intrigued by the scent.

"It's a cook your own food restaurant." Jinora said as they reached the door. Smiling, she pulled it open revealing steps leading a short way down. The smell was too enticing. Naga entered first, then Korra, followed by Katara and Jinora. At the bottom of the steps, a huge kitchen opened up before them. Several persons in aprons were already working at the counters. Some of them looked as if they had been cooking ever since they could walk, while others looked like they had never set foot in a kitchen before.

"Hello ladies! Welcome to Wei and Wing's cook and dine!" Two young men in their mid-twenties, wearing aprons with their matching uniform sleeves rolled up approached the group. "Is this your first time here?"

"No, we've been here before, last summer, but Korra is new."

"Ah, so you've got help, great!" The two were completely identical, with black hair and olive green eyes, they were both strikingly handsome, and warm mannered as they gestured towards an empty space in the kitchen. "Today we will be grilling, so we've got this awesome marinade we're going to prepare, with a wide assortment of meats and vegetables and fruits."

"I am really, not much of a cook," Korra protested as Katara helped her into an apron.

"If you don't like it, then we'll leave, I promise."

Korra sighed. She was tired, but she didn't want to go back to the beach just yet. They washed their hands and Jinora filled her in on the different elements of the kitchen. Once she started working, she found Katara was right, keeping her hands busy and her mind focused on the measurements, the smells, the collision of tastes as she mixed and stirred, and chopped, and beat; it was calming.

"Excuse me," a tan arm reached over her for a spice jar, and Korra stepped to the side before glancing up.

"Hey!" she exclaimed. She set her knife down, and big green eyes met hers.

"You were-,"

The girl smiled sheepishly. "Hi. We haven't really been formally introduced. I'm Opal."

Korra frowned. "What-,"

"Opal did you get- oh." Korra looked past her and her brow knitted together as she recognized the clear green eyes and pale face. "Um… Hi Korra."

"What… what the hell is this?"

"Ah, I see you've found each other!" Katara returned, her arms full of bell peppers, pineapple, mangoes, and onions.

"What?" Korra asked, both irritated and confused.

"Katara, I thought you would wait before you brought her here," Asami said, helping her set the food down on the counter without dropping them.

"Well, I didn't expect you to be here today," Katara complained. "Oh come, I'm an old woman, I don't remember directions that well."

"Katara," Asami sighed.

"Katara-," Korra started.

"Oh come on ladies, we don't need to do this. We are here to cook, and to eat. None of us bears the other any ill will, so lets just finish cooking and enjoy our food!" She took Asami and Korra by the elbow and thrust them together side by side at the counter. Asami's cheeks flushed slightly and Korra clenched her jaw.

Asami cleared her throat.

Korra reached for her knife.

Asami handed her a bell pepper.

"Thanks," she muttered.

"You're welcome."

Silently, the two finished chopping the vegetables, then tossed them in the marinade and helped each other put them on skewers. After they finished grilling them, Asami picked one up, blew on it and handed it to Korra with a small smile. "Here." She said.

Thin lipped, Korra took it, her fingers brushing Asami's lightly as she did. She felt her heart leap into her throat. She coughed. "Thank you." She slid a chunk of pineapple off of the end and popped it in her mouth. "It's good." She said, and offered the food back to Asami. "Try it."

Asami took it back, and again their fingers touched. She slid a piece of mango off the skewer and ate it. "It is."

Korra's heart thudded in her chest as she watched Asami lick her fingers. She turned away and hid her blush.

"What are you doing here?" she asked gruffly.

"I'm kind of… from this town. Opal is my best friend, this is her family's restaurant."

"It can't be a coincidence that _I'm_ here though."

Asami hesitated. "It's… it's not."

Korra was silent for a moment. "So it's your house I'm staying at?"

The young woman nodded. "Yeah."

Korra looked at her again. "I already told you I won't sue you."

"It wasn't-," Asami started, then licked her lips and tried again. "Look, it wasn't because of that. Or because I was afraid that I was responsible for what you're going through. I just… I felt like there was a reason for all of this. I don't know, I just… I crashed into you for heaven's sake! Literally crashed into you, and, you were going through so much, and I knew that I could help you, that I _should_ help you. It felt right like… like this was all meant to happen." She paused and hesitantly put a hand on Korra's elbow. "Look… I didn't mean for you to find out it was me. Honestly. I just wanted to give you a space where you could feel safe and relaxed."

Korra did not respond immediately. Her eyes glanced over to Katara and Jinora removing the skewers of meat, vegetables, and fruit from the grills, granddaughter and grandmother chattering happily away with one another.

"Well…" she said finally. "Shit."

Asami smiled softly. "Thanks."

Korra nodded. She reached for another kebob just as Asami did, and for a third time, their fingers touched, this time crashing into each other.

"Sorry," each mumbled to the other, then turned away to hide the blush, finger tips tingling as they bit into food that felt like fire in their mouths.

* * *

 **Once again, sorry, I hate editing.**

 **Does anybody else love grilled pineapple? It's good shit. I love that shit.**

 **The herbal pharmacy is based of an actual place that was right by my school. Of course, this being America, and seeing as hand outs are extremely _un-American_ , they did not give me _any_ free samples, but it was a cool place and I'd have bought stuff if I wasn't so broke (story of my fucking life tbh). Anyways... as always, reviews are very much appreciated. Thanks for reading :)**


	6. Chapter 5: Everything

**Chapter 5: Everything**

 **...**

After they finished eating, Katara, Korra, and Jinora remained behind with Asami and Opal, and the twins, and helped clean the kitchen. By the time they were finished, the sun was beginning its descent into the horizon.

"I need to get you home! I just realized, I never told your father I was taking you out!" Katara said, wrapping an arm around Jinora's shoulders. Her granddaughter smiled.

"It's alright, I sent him and mom a text on the way here," she replied.

"That's my smart girl. A good thing your brain isn't rotting away like mine," Katara said with a wink.

"Your brain is healthy as ever, I don't know what you're talking about Gran Gran!" she threw her arms around the older woman and kissed her cheek.

"Thank you dear." She squeezed her granddaughter lovingly, then, as if just remembering Korra, she turned abruptly to the young woman. "Korra! You don't mind if we make a small detour to take Jinora home do you?"

Korra opened her mouth to respond. "I-," _If I stay in the car I'll be fine… Will I? I don't know…_ The sun was setting, and the nighttime just felt too good for her to have visions of the past; she recalled how Katara only had to ask if she liked children for one of the visons to creep up on her. Her heart began to race and she stuttered, suddenly unaware of what to say. She knew that anything could set her off. What if the kids were outside? Even seeing the toys on the lawn could be a trigger. She panicked. "Um… I mean-,"

"Could I take you home actually?" Korra turned and remembered that Asami had been walking beside her the whole time. "It's no big deal really, I haven't been back to the beach house in a minute. Would you like that?" she smiled. "I _did_ come here on my bike though. But it's a very smooth ride, I promise. I designed it myself."

Korra looked at the raven haired young woman and would have asked her why in _God's_ GLORIOUS name, would she get on a bike with her when she had almost killed her on one? It was the fear of seeing Katara's grandkids and revisiting the past that made her dumbly nod her head yes. After all, Asami _hadn't_ killed her. Yet.

"Okay great! And of course, we'll take care of Naga for you Korra."

Korra nodded, and bent to give her dog a hug. "I'll see you soon girl, be good." The dog licked her face in response, wagging her tail happily. She had eaten well, Katara had chopped up a nice meat medley and tossed it with brown rice, mango, and spinach for her.

After they said goodbye to Katara and Jinora, Korra and Asami walked towards Asami's motorcycle. _Did she say she designed this herself?_ Korra looked at the beautiful piece of machinery dumbfounded. It was a little bigger than a standard motorcycle, bright cherry red, and the wheels were huge and the handlebars were set so that the rider would have to almost hug it in order to reach them. " _You_ designed this?" Korra asked as the woman climbed on.

Asami grabbed a helmet and handed it to her. "Yep. It's what I do. I'm an engineer. This is actually a pretty old model I designed a long time ago back in high school. She's had a lot of work done on her, but, she was the first one I ever made and I love her." She patted the seat behind her. "Get on."

When Korra was seated behind her, Asami started the engine. Surprisingly, it was quiet. She pulled her goggles over her jade green eyes then over her shoulder she said, "Hold on tight." Korra leaned forward and wrapped her arms around her middle. She noticed that despite her slender form, Asami felt very solid and strong. They started moving, and again Korra was surprised; it was a very smooth ride. The wind felt amazing on her skin, and even though it was cold, holding on to Asami's warm body made her not mind it so much. The roads were pretty clear, and once they reached the tree line and started up into the mountain, the engineer kept her promise, and drove carefully. The scent of the cypress trees was heavy in the air, mingling with the scent of pine needles and salt water. The sky was brilliantly gold, and when they burst through the trees just before they descended down the dirt road into the cove, they could see everything. The trees and the beach below, and the ocean stretched all the way to the edge of the horizon; the sun sinking down into its cool embrace, sending bursts of violet, red, orange, and warm golden hues into the sky to mingle with the blue as it faded to indigo and navy.

"We're here. Safe and sound."

For a moment, it felt like her arms would not move. Her face was right in Asami's hair and Korra felt her cool hand on her arm. "Korra? Did you fall asleep?"

She breathed in, taking note of the fact that something Asami put in her hair smelled like honeysuckles. "I'm awake." She said, her voice a little rougher than she meant it to me. She unlocked her arms from around the woman's middle, then stretched before climbing off the back. "Thank you." She said as she removed the helmet and handed it to her.

"It was nothing." Those lips turned up into a smile. "So," she started. "Is it alright if I come in?"

Korra shrugged. "I mean it's your house."

Asami nodded. "Right indeed."

Slowly, with a small bit of an awkward silence between the two, they made their way up to the front door.

"So-," they both started at the same time. Asami laughed and blushed pink, and Korra raised her eyebrows.

"What?" the darker woman asked.

"No, what were you going to say?" the green eyed woman responded.

Korra shrugged. "Nothing."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded. "I was actually about to…" she paused.

"What?" And she stood there, bathed in gold. It shined off her shiny black hair, and a cool salty breeze tousled those silky locks gently. Her cheeks were still flushed from the cold, clear green eyes peered up at her and sweet red lips were parted in a smile as she waited.

And then Korra's hands were on her face, and her lips were pressed against hers. She felt her start in surprise, before those cool slender fingers wrapped around her wrists. She pulled away, but didn't stop. She kissed Asami's cheek, her jaw, her neck, then whispered into her ear, "Stay with me tonight."

"I-I- what?" Korra's hands went down to her waist, she pushed her against the door then reached around her and opened it, pressing her lips right back over Asami's as she did. "Korra-," she kept trying to talk, but as Korra's lips moved against hers, she started to kiss her back. "Oh my- Oh God!" Korra had jerked her shirt from her pants, and had begun unbuttoning it, her hand was over her right breast, massaging it, making her moan in pleasure. "I- I have-," now Korra's hands were on her naked flesh, stroking her, grabbing her. "I have a-" now her hands were in her hair, her teeth scraping her neck. "Oh my God!" she gasped and Korra' pulled her closer, and Asami gave in to her. "I-," and Korra stopped suddenly, her lips tingling, and pulse pounding.

"What?" She asked and Asami quivered under her hands. Korra nipped the other woman's bottom lip. "Do you want me to stop?" she whispered.

Asami's arms were wrapped around her neck, Korra left her fists in the shiny honeysuckle hair and saw that those greens eyes were closed as her chest, nonetheless, heaved excitedly. "I… I have a girlfriend."

Korra kissed her lips again. "That wasn't my question." She said into her mouth. She lifted Asami up and set her on the kitchen counter. She centered herself between her long legs, and pulled the woman's shirt the rest of the way off and threw it to the floor. She kissed her, long and languid, right between her breasts and was rewarded with a drawn out sigh.

"Oh my God…." Asami murmured again. Korra's lips moved south over her stomach as she rubbed her between the legs. She felt her shudder, and she brought her lips to Asami's ear again as her fingers unzipped the woman's jeans.

"Tell me…" she whispered. She kissed the woman's lips again. Then her fingers were over her underwear and she squeezed lightly. Asami gasped and her head rolled back and Korra's lips found her neck.

"God I barely know you!" Asami breathed, her body was trembling and she had begun to sweat.

"Then tell me to stop." And Korra went to her knees and jerked Asami's jeans the rest of the way down, and kissed her over her underwear before quickly unlacing and tossing aside her boots so she could rip them the rest of the way off. She kissed her over the lace again, then worked her fingers underneath it, all the while listening for the word to make her quit. Asami was breathing heavily, and had fallen back on her hands, and when she felt Korra's tongue inside her, her whole body quivered. " _God_!" Korra felt her thighs close around her ears, and it only encouraged her. Every muffled moan, and scream and swear was music to her ears. Finally she stood, kissed the woman's chest, licked and sucked lightly on one of her nipples, and then pushed the sweaty hair out away from her green eyes and kissed her lips.

"Come on," she whispered. With Asami's arms and legs wrapped around her, and Asami's lips and tongue ravaging her neck, Korra stumbled with her into the bedroom. Once they were on the bed, Asami impatiently helped her match her naked state, and the two of them fell beneath the sheets. Then Asami was on top of her, everywhere her lips made contact with Korra's flesh it was like fire, but when Asami was about to go down on her, Korra caught her and switched their positions. "No," she growled into the woman's ear. "I'm not finished with you yet." She nipped her ear lightly, and ran her tongue over her neck. One of her hands tugged at Asami's hair, while the other squeezed her butt, causing her to cry out. She pulled her close, sweat mingled with sweat, and bodies molded together. Korra couldn't take her lips away from Asami's skin. "Do you want me to make you feel very, very good?" she whispered, sucking the woman's ear.

"Yes…" Asami breathed.

Korra bit her lightly. "What?" her voice was husky.

"Yes! Oh God please!"

She covered Asami's mouth with her own, and kissed her, deeply, hungrily, and the woman matched her fervor as Korra's hand slid back down to Asami's already moistened crotch. "If you don't like it, just tell me to stop." It was the last thing she said, and Asami never told her to stop.

…

Korra awoke the next morning to the sun on her face. She blinked her eyes and all she saw was gold. She closed them again, then stretched, rubbed her eyes, then opened them again as she sat up. Events from last night returned to her, and she glanced down, noticing the side of the bed beside her was empty. She touched it. It was still warm. She pulled on some underwear and a sweater from the closet, and went out to the kitchen.

"Hey."

It looked as if the woman had been trying to sneak out. Her shirt was untucked and only halfway buttoned, jeans had been pulled hastily on, and she had looked like she was searching for something when Korra had walked in. She could not have been awake more than a minute longer than her.

"Hi." She responded, a pink blush creeping up into her pale cheeks. They stood and looked at each other for a moment in which Asami was visibly uncomfortable. "I was… um. Just about… to leave." She pointed at the door with her thumb, her arms full of her boots and jacket.

Korra nodded. "Alright."

Asami stood and stared at her for another moment. "Look, I don't… I don't do this. Okay? Last night wasn't me."

Korra smirked. "Yes it was."

Asami frowned. "Stop, this isn't funny. It's not going to happen again. I _can't_ do this-,"

"I gave you plenty of chances to tell me to stop." She started moving towards her slowly.

"Yeah well, shit." The woman swore. "It was… it was _nothing_. It was just sex."

Korra nodded. "Nothing." She repeated, coming closer still.

"Yes." Asami noticed and took a step back.

"Yes." Korra repeated.

"Stop." Asami's voice shook ever so slightly.

"What?" Korra was just an arm's length away from her now.

"That! Stop it!"

She stopped in her tracks. "See?" she raised an eyebrow. "You _can_ say stop."

"I-," she searched, then suddenly, her fist connected with Korra's arm. The former Marine flinched slightly. "Shut up!"

"I didn't say anything."

" _Shut_ up!" Her eyes flashed angrily. "You are you so… I don't understand you! Just… what the hell- what the _hell_ was that about last night?!"

Korra shrugged. "You're gorgeous. You smelled amazing. And you seemed like you wanted it."

"How did I-,"

"Well… You never said no, never told me to stop…" she paused. "In fact you more screamed, 'Yes,' and, 'Don't stop,' throughout the whole night so…"

"Fuck you!"

Again, Korra smirked and shrugged, infuriating Asami even more.

"Look!"

"Yes?"

"I _have_ , a girlfriend. And I like her, _a lot_ ," she said steadily.

"I believe you."

"Shut _up_!" Tears had sprung to the woman's eyes and she glared daggers at Korra. "What the _hell_ is wrong with you?!"

Korra smiled smugly. "Everything." She replied flatly.

Asami pushed hair out of her face and licked her lips. "I…" she started then paused, took a breath and tried again. "I only wanted to help you. And I'm not accusing you of being… presumptuous, or anything. I shouldn't have… I shouldn't have done this. I just wanted to talk with you last night. Get to know you a little better so we could become friends, or _something_."

"Something." Korra repeated quietly, her eyes never leaving Asami's.

" _Yes_. And this isn't fair. Okay? I know it wasn't just…" she paused again, her thoughts visibly racing and she rubbed her forehead. "Okay… Maybe I'd… thought about it. This, that happened. And you. Shit, of course I did! Not in depth or anything because shit, but look-," she huffed angrily. "This is not going to happen again."

Korra nodded. "Okay."

Asami blinked and nodded in return. "Okay."

…

" _What would you do?"_

" _Me? Man… I don't know," he laughed lightly and rubbed the back of his head. "I guess I'd…. buy a house on a nice piece of land. Buy a book on how to invest smartly and make more money. It's really shitty not having money, so I'd buy a book on how to never lose it once you've got it." He chuckled lightly, then bounced the basketball a couple of times before he shot it into the hoop. Korra caught and drippled back towards him. "What would you do? If you had a million dollars?"_

" _Go to college." Korra answered immediately, shooting the ball back at him. "I'd go to college for as long as I could, get my Bachelor's, my Master's, and even a Doctorate's. Or I'd travel. I'd go everywhere, learn a bunch of different languages, experience a bunch of different cultures, eat everything, and… connect with people." She paused and Mako took another shot at the hoop, sinking it. She ran and retrieved it, and dribbled it back to him. "It's always been my dream to help people. Not on a small scale either; I just feel like there's so much we could do for each other, if we all just took the time to listen and learn." She smiled to herself, then took a shot at the hoop. It bounced on the rim and he retrieved it for her._

" _I think you could do it." He said smiling, tossing the ball from palm to palm as he approached her._

 _She smiled back. "Yeah?"_

 _He nodded. "Everybody likes you. You're really good with people. I feel like if you wanted you could definitely become a diplomat or, work for the UN or something."_

" _Well," she caught the ball as he tossed it to her. "Since the military is going to pay for my college when I get out, that'll be the plan." She shot the ball, this time it sank clean through the bottom of the net._

 _Mako chuckled. "It's a long way down the road; we've only been in five months, and we ship out on our first deployment in less than a week."_

 _Korra nodded and checked her watch. "Liberty is almost up. You ready to go back?"_

" _Yeah." He retrieved the ball and side by side, they returned to the barracks._

" _Are you scared?" she asked after a while in a quiet voice._

 _He thought before he answered. "A little," he admitted. "Are you?"_

 _She nodded. "Yes. I mean… I know where we're going there hasn't been any fighting… But…. The fact that they're sending Marines in right now, it can't be good can it?"_

 _Mako shook his head. "That's what I've been thinking."_

" _I just… I don't want the military to change me too much. I don't want war to just… destroy me, you know? I want to still be me when I come back."_

 _He nodded. "I know."_

 _They walked the rest of the way back to the barracks in silence, as the sun set behind them._

…

" _Fuck_."

Korra opened her eyes and watched Asami roll off the edge of the bed.

"This is so _fucked_." The taller woman scoured the room for her clothes. She picked up the sweater Korra had thrown on only an hour ago and threw it at her.

"You can't blame this one on me," Korra mumbled, rubbing the spot on her neck where Asami had bitten her not too gently when she and her green eyes had launched herself on her.

"Shut up!"

Korra raised her hands in submission and resigned to watching the raven haired beauty angrily jerk her clothes back on for the second time that morning.

" _God_! I have girlfriend for _God's_ sake!"

"Must not be a very fulfilling relationship," Korra muttered, but Asami caught it and she came around to Korra's side of the bed and smacked her arm.

" _Don't_. _Tell me. About_. My relationship!" she warned through gritted teeth. "We've been together for three years and we've helped each other through a lot of shit! Okay? She is a very good to me; she is always there for me and she never hesitates when I need her help- God she even took care of you in the hospital when I asked her to."

Korra racked her brain and thought back to when she had been in the hospital, and she recalled the woman with the bored expression, and the glasses which sat so delicately on her face. "The science nurse?" She asked, raising her eyebrows. "That's your girlfriend?" she chuckled. "She sounds more like a nanny if you ask me."

Asami looked as if she was going to punch her in the face for a moment, then, to Korra's surprise, she hid her face in her hands and burst into tears.

"UGhhhhhhhhhh! You're right!" she exclaimed. "I love her and she's so fucking smart and so good at her job, and just good as a person, but I just…. I want… _passion…_ and she's just…" she collapsed on the side of the bed and heaved a sigh. "Oh God…" she mumbled, wiping her tears away in frustration. She met Korra's gaze. "I'm sorry." She said. "You knew better than me… I wanted you more than I let myself believe."

Korra shrugged, and smiled slightly out of the corner of her mouth. "It's not really that deep."

Asami smiled back. "Whatever." She said. Korra took her hand and squeezed it gently.

"Maybe next time… when we see each other. We could just… talk."

Asami laughed a little and the action caused more tears to spill from her eyes. She wiped them away and nodded. "I would like that."

"Okay."

"…Okay."

It was around noon when Katara returned to the house with Naga. Asami had left about a half an hour ago, and Korra was still in bed when Naga found her.

"Hey girl." The dog jumped up onto the bed, licked her face and pressed herself next to her. "Did you have a good night?" she kissed her dog's head and Naga's tail thumped vigorously against the bed. She sighed and leaned back into her pillow. She felt drained, and empty. She was so tired. She had struggled so hard yesterday fighting to keep her emotions in check that they had up and left her. Now she didn't think she had to be scared of any triggers; she felt _so_ empty. She closed her eyes and tried to reach for something to hold on to. The feel of the wind on her skin, the smell of the spices as she had mixed them together yesterday, Asami's body warm against hers as they rode her motorcycle… she thought about Asami, her lips, her eyes, her skin, her smell, her taste… It was a nice memory. But she was just, so, tired.

She sighed again, deeply, then rolled onto her side and hugged her dog. Naga snuggled next to her and didn't move. When Katara came in the check on her, Naga thumped her tail gently to let her know Korra was safe and taken care of.

* * *

 **My dog is seriously so cute, she's a pit bull and she's pretty big, but she just came over to me and jumped right up in my lap like, she legit thinks she's a delicate little** **shih tzu** **or something.**

 **Anyways, this chapter is a little fucked up. Korra has a lot of problems. I was just thinking about this the other day. I had a pretty bad anxiety attack and it was triggered by something so small; a fucking song lyric. I was doing fine, just sitting on the couch, chillin with my dog, when my little sister, who was on the computer next to me put on this song that made me burst into tears, and I just couldn't stop. The point is, when I thought back to all the little things that triggered me, I realized how I would often go through these phases were I was so drained, and exhausted just from constantly trying to keep myself from screaming on top of my lungs and cussing everybody out, or succumbing to the really dark thoughts in my mind, that I would go a whole day just in my bed, feeling completely empty. And it's not like I'm an extremely dark, and brooding person, I'm very happy usually, and my sister not an hour ago, just described my manner as being gentle, and sweeter than most (very weird, considering people think I come off as aggressive when they first meet me). It's just, this thing, that I picked up while in the military, it hasn't gone away, and some days it beats me. Where Korra is in this phase, is a combination of where I was two years ago, and where I am now.**

 **Anyways... again. Editing is not my thing, so again, sorry about all the typos and grammar mistakes. Review?**


	7. Chapter 6: Broken

**Chapter 6: Broken**

 **...**

Asami Sato, if anything, was incredibly brilliant. At twelve years old, she graduated high school and the following autumn, went to school at one of the most prestigious universities in the world. She graduated with two undergraduate degrees, one in mechanical engineering, and the other in aerospace engineering, and also a minor in international business, when she was sixteen years old. After she finished her undergrad, she moved on to complete her Masters in international relations, and by the time she was nineteen years old, she was the CEO of her own company, Future Industries. It had not come to her completely on her own; the company had been started by her father, but while she had been completing her Masters, her father had made some poor choices, resulting in debt, and imprisonment. Saving her father's company had been Asami's final project in completing her Master's degree.

As equally brilliant, Asami Sato was generous, kind, and beautiful. Everyone wanted a job at Future Industries because Asami always ensured her employees had outstanding health, dental, and education benefits, as well as advancement opportunities for themselves and their families. She also awarded numerous scholarships and grants to the kids of her employees so they could pursue higher learning regardless of their family's financial background. She was one of the most influential and powerful individuals in the country, yet she made sure to keep a low profile, more often than not, being represented by someone close to her rather than appearing in person for any publicized event, and almost nobody knew what she really looked like. In doing so, she was less often recognized when she went out in public, and she wanted to keep it this way. She had appeared several times on the cover of business and science and times magazines, but either her back was to the viewer, or only a portion of her face was shown.

Asami owned several properties; a penthouse just above her company headquarters where she worked, a few vacation homes outside of the country, and two houses in her home town. One, she had inherited from her father; the beach house were a former marine plagued with nightmares of her past was being housed to recover. The other, she inherited from her deceased mother. It was a ranch, just outside of town, where she had a handful of people who lived there and helped tend to her horses. There was the main house, where she lived when she was home, and there was the workers' quarters, a cluster of houses each big enough to house a family of four. The stable hands lived in apartments just above the barn and had worked the ranch since before she had been born. After her father was sent to jail, Asami had had a garage built just for when she felt like tinkering on her old car and motorcycle projects.

It was here where her best childhood friend found her. Her hair was pulled back and she was covered head to toe in protective clothing as she concentrated hard on the piece of metal she was welding.

"Asami!" Opal had to call out several times and jump up and down while waving her hands at a distance before she finally got her attention. Asami shut off her tools and lifted her helmet. Opal noticed she looked exhausted, even though she smiled at her. "What are you doing? I got your text; I thought you had a meeting this morning."

"Oh…" Asami rapidly blinked her tired eyes as she took off her gloves and came around her work center to Opal. "Um, no, I called Zhu Li and had her meet with Varrick instead. I… I was busy this morning."

"Busy?" Opal repeated folding her arms and lifting an eyebrow. "What were you doing?" she gestured to the shop. "You weren't in here the whole time were you?"

"Um… no." she set her gloves down and removed the rest of her gear then motioned for Opal to follow her. "It's a…" she took a deep breath and rubbed the back of her neck. "It's a long story."

"Can't be that long. I just saw you last night." Opal pondered for a short moment then frowned slightly. "Does it have something to do with that soldier girl? Korra?" Out of the corner of her eye, she saw her friend turn the most delicate shades of pink. They were on their way down the path which led to the house, when Opal stood in front of Asami and put her hands on her shoulders, stopping her in her tracks. "What happened? Did she hurt you?" she asked, her eyes flashing protectively.

"No!" Asami exclaimed. She shook her head and removed her friend's hands. "No, she didn't. She…" she hesitated.

"What? Asami I'm your best friend, what?" Opal pried, not failing to notice that Asami was avoiding meeting her eyes.

"She… she kissed… me." She said with some difficulty.

…

Opals eyes widened and Asami felt her heart beginning to sink. "What?" she raised an eyebrow and folded her arms. "Shit, did you tell her you have a girlfriend?"

Asami nodded. "Yeah," she said weakly.

"And?"

She continued to avoid Opal's gaze but she could feel the younger woman's dark green eyes burning a hole in her cheek. "Well…" her cheeks grew even warmer as she recalled last night and this morning; everything from Korra's hands on her body, her lips on her skin, how she had made her feel _so_ , fucking, _good_ , and how she never wanted her to stop… She bit her lip, and she knew Opal understood even before she said anything.

"Gaawwwwdddd….." Opal groaned. "Asami…"

"I didn't… I just… I," she stuttered not able to find the right thing to say. Opal hit her arm. "Oooowww! Bitch?!"

" _Bitch_?! What the _fuck_ Asami! You had sex with her! Actual, consensual, you _both_ , not just her, but you too, fucking, _wanted it¸_ _sex_ with her!"

"Goddammit Opal, could you not?!" Asami hissed, glancing around to see if any of her ranch hands was within listening distance.

"This is so fucked up, you know that right?" Opal continued on, ignoring her. "Zhu Li is going to be devastated."

"I'm _not_ going to tell Zhu Li!"

"Yes you fucking are!"

"How could I?!" Asami cried, throwing her hands into the air. "You know what she's done for me, what she means to me, I can't just-,"

"You should've thought about that last night, Asami!" Opal scolded. "God," she lowered her tone and sighed exasperatedly. "I mean I could sense it I guess… that you didn't really want to be with her anymore. But I thought you'd at least have the decency to end it first before you moved on."

"I didn't plan this, it just happened!"

" _YOU_ could have prevented it!"

"But I didn't even think it _could_ happen! I didn't see any reason to break up with Zhu Li before, just because we aren't spontaneous and passionate and-," her voice cracked, "even in love anymore… we're good together. We're comfortable. We know each other. I still cared about her and I never ever imagined that I would ever meet someone who-," she paused and licked her lips. "I… I'd never wanted to cheat on her with anyone before. I don't know why, Korra, was different, I don't, I…" tears began to prick the back of her eyes and she looked up to force them back down. "I thought if I just stayed with Zhu Li, that this stale phase we're going through… that it would just…. eventually come to an end. And we could be… more. Just more. Again. I just didn't feel like I had a legit reason to break up with her."

"Even though you're not in love anymore?" Opal asked quietly.

"Couples fall out of love all the time," one of her tears fell, as her gaze shifted to Opal's shoes. She wiped it away. "That doesn't mean they just quit on each other."

"Yeah… but honestly Asami," Asami felt Opal's fingers on her chin and she looked up at her friend. "I don't believe you and Zhu Li were really ever in love. Not the way you wanted to be. You were nineteen when you started dating. Remember? That was when your father was sent to prison. You were devastated. Zhu Li helped keep you on track, and you leaned on her a lot. I never wanted to say anything before because you seemed to make each other happy, but… Asami you were broken. Broken just, is not a good state to start a healthy relationship in."

Asami sniffled and wiped her nose on the back of her hand. "How would you know…" she kicked the dirt and peered up at her friend. "You've never been in a serious relationship."

"Yeah well… shit, I read a lot of books and watch a lot of movies, what can I say?" she smiled slightly and the corners of Asami's mouth turned up a little in return. "Come here." She pulled her friend into an embrace, and squeezed her gently. "It'll be okay. But you _will_ tell her. She deserves better and you know it."

Asami groaned into her friend's shoulder, but she knew she was right. "Fuck…" she mumbled, when they pulled apart. She wiped her eyes again. "Do you want to get coffee?"

…

Asami had to return to the city that night. She had too much to do, and she never liked to leave her company to other people for too long; especially when Varrick was in town. Varrick was a brilliant and extremely flamboyant businessman who served as Asami's most capable rival. The two of them had struck up a partnership and drawn up mutual understanding, but Asami never trusted him.

It was nighttime when Asami arrived at her penthouse, exhausted, and dreading both meeting with Varrick and Zhu Li, the latter being inside, waiting for her as she unlocked her door and stepped inside.

"Zhu Li? I'm home!" she heard movement in the kitchen and smelled something spicy cooking.

"Asami?" Her girlfriend appeared in a plain green dress, her forehead shiny with a thin layer of sweat, an apron tied around her middle, and tongs in her hand. "Hi honey," she said giving her a kiss and taking her bag. "How was your trip? Come in I'm almost finished making dinner." She disappeared into the bedroom to dispose of the bag while Asami slowly made her way to one of the barstools.

"It was good," she said, when Zhu Li reappeared. "I saw Opal's family again for the first time in years. Wei and Wing are running the restaurant now. How did it go with Varrick?"

"Oh you know Varrick…" she started plating the food as she talked. "He wanted to fly in his helicopter to have breakfast at his mansion in the mountains and wouldn't talk business until he had finished showing me every aspect of his new silkworm farm." She pushed her glasses up on her face. "Which reminds me; I have a gift for you from him. It's a red dress, he said it was the first thing he made from his silkworms and he would like you to wear it to the gala tomorrow night."

"Right, that stupid gala…" Asami muttered rubbing her forehead.

"Oh you know you secretly love them," Zhu Li teased, placing the food down in front of her. She untied her apron and produced a bottle of wine and two glasses. "And it's a very sexy dress, you'll look good in it."

"You know, I think he knows that I rarely ever attend those galas, and always send you in my stead. I'm pretty sure he was hoping to see _you_ in it tomorrow." She jabbed her fork into the food. It was bucatini with spicy marinara and ricotta cheese, one of Asami's favorite dishes, but now it only made her stomach churn.

Her girlfriend scoffed slightly as she poured the wine and took her seat next to Asami. "Please, you know he's much too direct for that."

"I dunno, breakfast in the mountains is pretty romantic," she took a bite of pasta and felt Zhu Li glance at her.

"He just does that stuff. You know that." Asami shrugged, and took another bite. They ate the rest of their meal in silence, and Asami drained the rest of the wine left in the bottle.

Zhu Li looked at her, but didn't say anything as she took the empty plates to the sink.

"Zhu Li," Asami said, breaking the silence.

"Yes?" she replied without turning away from the dishes. Asami stood and came towards her. She wrapped her arms around the shorter woman's middle and put her face in her neck. Zhu Li craned her neck to give her a look of surprise. "Are you alright?"

"Eh." Asami replied.

Zhu Li put the sponge down and rinsed her hands before turning to face her girlfriend. "Are you sick?" she felt Asami's pale forehead, and the other woman swatted it away before she kissed her and ran her hands down to Zhu Li's backside.

"When was the last time we had sex?" Asami asked, her lips right at her ear.

"A few weeks ago maybe? I- Oh! Asami what has gotten in to you?" She pulled away, surprise decorating her usually placid face.

"Three months, two weeks, and a day."

"What?"

"The last time we had sex, was three months, two weeks, and a day ago. I remember because I'd just gotten back from my business retreat, and you looked really good in that yellow dress when I got home."

"Okay… so you like this dress too then?" She wrapped her arms around Asami's neck. "You want to have sex?"

"But why do we have to discuss it?" Asami pressed. "Why can't we just have sex? And why don't we do it all the time?"

"Because we're grownups, who work, and get tired, and don't always get home at the same time," Zhu Li shook her head and frowned. "Asami is something going on?" She studied her girlfriend's exasperated face, and ran her fingers through her hair. "What… what's this?" she pushed the hair off Asami's shoulder and studied a purple bruise on her neck. She touched it lightly with her fingertips, and Asami felt her heart plummet into the pit of her stomach. "That… woman. The Marine, from the trail. She's staying at your father's old beach house isn't she?" her voice was steady, and Asami nodded. "How is she?"

"She's fine," Asami whispered, not trusting her voice.

Zhu Li's fingers undid the top three buttons of the woman's shirt, and she pushed aside her collar, finding more, similar bruises decorating Asami's porcelain skin. "She must be more than fine… Amazing, I'd gather."

"Zhu Li-,"

"I guess it makes sense," her voice still calm and steady. "She's beautiful, tall, dark, strong, and complicated." She pushed her glasses up on her nose and stepped around Asami. "I'm plain, boring, small… and all I have ever done… is serve you."

"Zhu Li, please, it was just a mistake," she reached for her but Zhu Li backed out of her reach.

"I don't want to do this," she said. "I'm not going to." She turned away and headed for the door.

"So you're just going to leave?" Asami demanded, going after her. "You're not going to ask me why, or listen to me, or even try and _fight_ for us?!" She jumped in front of the door barring her way.

"Let me go," Zhu Li demanded.

"No, this is bullshit. I cheated on you, I slept with someone else and you're just walking away; after three _years_ , you're just walking away without trying to fix it; do you really not care why I did it?!"

"I _know_ why you did it," Zhu Li snapped icily at her. "Because you _don't_ love me. You needed me once, yes, and you might have grown fond of me at some point but you _never_ loved me the way I loved you. I thought that if I stayed around long enough, and just kept loving you that one day you would feel the same way, but it never happened. I was so stupid to think that it would. So if you don't mind, despite the fact that I always knew this day would come, my heart is very, _very_ broken right now, and I can't stand looking at you for another minute, so get _out_ of my way."

"I _did_ love you Zhu Li," Asami pleaded, tears springing to her eyes. "Please, don't go, we can talk about this, we can make this better-,"

"I am _not_ going to tell you to move one more time," her voice was low and dangerous, and she no longer met Asami's gaze.

"Please," Asami whispered, but she stepped to the side, and Zhu Li grabbed her keys. "Please!" the door slammed in her face and Asami crumpled to the floor and screamed.

This couldn't be happening. Zhu Li was so good to her, too good to her. Why hadn't she just appreciated her? Why hadn't she just learned to love her the way she should have? She had never run Future Industries without her; what would happen now?

" _FUCK_!" She cursed Zhu Li for running away so easily, she cursed Korra for kissing her, and she cursed herself for allowing herself to end up here. She cried and she cried, until finally, it felt like her body was rid of all her tears. Slowly, as if her body was a rusted machine, she got to her feet. She went to the cupboard and her eyes darted from unopened bottles of wine, to the loose leaf green tea. She breathed, deeply, and sniffled, wiping her face on her arm.

She would not let herself fall to pieces. She couldn't. She was Asami Sato. She would make things right. She reached for the tea. Holding it, she recalled how many years ago her mother had made this exact blend for her after her first day of kindergarten. She smiled softly.

Asami Sato has to make things right. The first step in doing so, is taking care of herself.

She pulled out a mug, and set to work.

* * *

 **Hey, thanks for reading :) I'm too tired to put an actual note down here... Review?**


	8. Chapter 7: Dreaming

**Chapter 7: Dreaming**

 **...**

"It's never something you expect to hit you; you can go months, years even, wanting to get out of a relationship, not realizing you want out of it until something happens to make you suddenly understand why you have been feeling so empty, lost and adrift for so long –

"And you wonder, when did this happen? Where did it go? The passion? The sparks? When did I get butterflies in my stomach for the last time when I saw you? When did I get used to you? Bored with you? Why don't I want to touch you the way I used to? Why does 'I love you' feel like a forced routine? And you carry those questions with you, and suddenly you can't look at her the way that you had been; everything is different, it feels off, and you wonder first, is it just you? Are you just bored? Why don't you feel in love anymore? And you doubt yourself… No, there's no way this is right. I love her. I love her. I _love_ her.

"And so you try to convince yourself, you try to convince her. You buy her flowers one night, you cook her dinner, you take her on vacation, you kiss her softly and sweetly, reminiscent of the way you did when you first started dating. You go down on her for an hour, and remember why you used to do this all time, (because she tastes so damn sweet) and you revel in her moans and her fingers in your hair, her gasps and her 'Oh!'s and she mutters 'I love you, I love you, _God_ I love you!' And you do it, you successfully convince yourself that it had just been a phase and then –

You go back home and it reverts back to the way it was, only now it's worse like everything you had initially built had begun to crumble so you duct taped it back together, but it was no match for the hurricane of hell life threw at you and now it's crumbling, it's burning, it's falling, she's crying, you're crying, your fists are flying and making holes in the walls, holes in your hearts, your souls; it's so empty everything is empty

"Empty.

"And then it hits you; you'd always wanted out, you just always denied it, but now that you're out, you miss her. It hurts how much you miss her and it's confusing because you know how badly you had wanted out but you _miss_ her and sleeping alone is so lonely and so many times you wake and find your hands reaching out for her but you catch yourself just before you go back and throw yourself in her arms, you sit in your car, on your hands, you bite your lip so hard it bleeds, you cry, you scream, you call the suicide hotline then after maybe

"A month or so of this misery, you get up and

"Carry on."

…

" _Korra please just come to bed."_

"… _No."_

" _Baby, please. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."_

" _Yes you did."_

" _No, I didn't. I… I was just mad."_

" _You're always mad."_

" _I just… I miss you. Please. I just want to hold you. I just want to hold the woman I love, and kiss her, and make love to her, and fall asleep with her please… Baby come on, please."_

 _She shakes her head, pulls the covers more tightly around her. "You can't keep doing this."_

" _I know…"_

" _No you don't. You don't know. Otherwise you wouldn't keep doing it."_

" _Look I just… I was just drinking a lot, I'm sorry. I miss you."_

" _Stop…" her voice is a whisper, and she chokes on her tears._

" _Baby…" his lips are so soft on her face. "Please… I'm sorry, please."_

" _I can't do this…" his arms are already around her. He scoops her up bridal style. She wraps her arms around his neck, her heart heavy, her tears falling. She wants him so badly… Wants to want him… wants him. She loves me, Wants to love him, loves him. But…_

 _He lays her down gently, peels the blanket away from her._

" _I love you." He kisses her lips, wipes her tears with his thumbs, kisses her eyes. "I love you so much."_

 _She wants to pull him closer, wants to push him away, wants to kiss him and make love forever, wants to get up and run away, she hates him more than anything, loves him so much that it hurts everything inside of her._

" _I fucking hate you," she breathes as he runs his hands over her body, pushes her underwear down and kisses her there._

" _No you don't."_

 _Her tears continue to fall, she gasps, and moans and he lifts his head and watches her face as her head tilts back and her eyes close. He kisses her stomach._

" _You love me." He whispers. He dips his head and licks and sucks on her flesh then moves and positions his hips against hers. "You love me, I know you remember that."_

 _Her fingers grip his hair. A small cry escapes her throat as he thrusts into her._

" _Oh God," she sighs again. He holds her close and feels her trembling against him._

" _Tell me to stop," he says. "If you hate me…" he thrusts again hard, and she gasps and tenses and her fists clench in his hair. "Tell me."_

" _I_ fucking _hate- God!" Her body writhes in pleasure._

" _What?" He takes a hold of her wrists, pins them down on either side of her head as he continues to thrust. He knows what she likes, he knows her, all too well. He starts to move faster, harder. "You don't hate me," he growls into her ear. She cries out again. She is starting to sweat. "You don't hate me."_

 _Her breathing is becoming labored, and he pushes the hair from her sweaty face. He kisses her mouth and she responds with force, with heat, passion, anger, she nips him, he bites her back. "Korra." He thrusts hard again and feels her arch her back in response._

" _Aaaagh!" He releases her wrists and pulls her up. Still inside of her, still moving against each other, he pulls her close with one hand, holds her hair with the other. Her hands are on his face, in the moonlight leaking through the blinds, he could see her pain reflected in those deep blue eyes and they close halfway and more tears spill and he kisses them away, but more tears begin to fall- only now from his eyes._

" _Baby…" he could feel her slipping away from him, even though he holds her as close as possible. He craves her, desperately, he can't kiss enough of her skin, can't go deep enough inside of her, can't hold her close enough, can't inhale enough of her breathes._

 _She is getting closer. He could feel it._

 _She breathes in suddenly, holds it, and her whole body tenses against him. He can't stop. She moans. "Oh God," she breathes. "Ohhh Goddd…" He moves more slowly, more gently. He kisses her lightly, holds her closely. "God…" she mutters, her eyes drifting shut._

 _Even as she begins to fall asleep, he holds her close, he kisses her naked skin. "You don't hate me." He whispers into her dreams._

 _As his arms wrap around her, squeeze her, his face presses into her neck, she rubs his arm with her fingertips, puts her face in the fold of his elbow. "Yes I do." She replies from somewhere far away. She presses herself into his chest. "I fucking hate you. I fucking love you. And I fucking hate loving you."_

…

The dreams fluttered away from her as the cool morning air pressed its self against her eyelids. All she was able to remember was Mako's face; his burning golden eyes floated in her mind and drifted away into darkness as she became conscious. She opened her eyes and sat up, and stretched. Her head ached very slightly from the cut at the back of her head. It was healing well, but it was still constantly sore.

She stood. Naga was already awake. "Hey girl." She scratched her friend behind the ears. "Feel like running?"

She hadn't been running since the day Asami had crashed into her, just a little over a week ago. This morning, her body was still a little sore, but she was tired of waiting to feel any better. The sun was still below the horizon, some stars remained in the sky, twinkling, dancing, determined to hold onto the night for as long as they possibly could. Her clothes had been brought to the house when she had been, and she was glad to find a sweater in the closet as she was getting dressed. Outside it was cold, and she pulled her hood up over her hair as she started jogging down to where the water fell to the sand.

They jogged down the beach for about ten minutes before they reached the rocks at the edge of the cove. They stopped, and Korra stretched as the sun began to open its eyes. A cool wind, little more than a breeze, danced across the surface of the water and made its way to Korra; with it, it brought a dark host of clouds.

The sky was beginning to lighten in the east, and its golden rays clashed with the steel grey of the clouds as they rolled in from the west. The wind began to play not too gently with Korra.

"Let's go girl." They started running the opposite direction down the beach. The beach was roughly three miles across, with the house just a little more north than south, and facing west towards the ocean. The two ran steadily through the sand, keeping close to the water. After twenty minutes of easy running, they reached the other side of the cove, and the rocks rose before them. Korra stood with her hands on her head and looked up as she breathed. Although maybe a little precarious, it was not impossible to climb, she saw that where the rocks were less jagged, a narrow dirt path snaked up into the cliff and disappeared somewhere up in the trees. Giving in to the adventurer within her, Korra stepped up onto the rocks.

The wind was beginning to pick up, and the clouds were winning the fight against the sun for the sky. The stars had all vanished, and the sun was somewhere up there, but the blanket of grey muted out its rays and a light _pitter-patter_ began to fall. It was slippery in some places, but Korra moved slowly and carefully and Naga trotted a little ahead of her to mark the way. After about ten minutes, Korra stopped and looked back. She sat on a boulder, just before where the rock met the dirt, and she was just out of reach of the waves as they began to grow and swell and crash down on where she had just climbed over moments ago.

She looked up at the path and saw Naga's tail whip around behind a bend which disappeared into the fragrant silver dollar eucalyptus trees. She caught her breath for a quick moment, and followed. The rain was light, but as she jogged up the path and wove through and over the boulders, it began to pick up. As she continued climbing, she lost track of time, only focused on her breathing, on setting each foot carefully down in front of the other. All she heard was the sound of the rain making contact with the leaves on the trees and slipping down onto the dirt, and the water crashing against the cliffs down below. The wind picked up even more, and it tore her hood from her head and stung her cheeks. She climbed on.

Finally, as the rain became more steady and began to soak through her hoodie, Korra came to break in the trees. She jogged out into the open, and there before her she saw the whole ocean open up below her. The waves were getting big, the sky was growing darker. She was getting cold, and the rain was getting angrier. She wiped her eyes, uselessly, the rain rolled down her face and plastered her hair to her neck.

"Naga!" She called. A moment later, her dog bounded through the trees to her, wagging her tail. "Let's go girl." She said. Then suddenly, the world was lit up by a flash of lightning, dangerously close to the earth. Korra felt herself panic. The thunder followed. The sound tore straight through her and she screamed, fell to her knees and grabbed her head which felt as if a hammer had been slung right to it.

 _Korra!_

"NOOO!" she screamed.

 _Korra get up!_

The world flashed before her, and suddenly she was holding her rifle and standing next to Mako.

" _What is that?"_

" _I don't know… Birds?"_

 _He shook his head. "No… birds don't fly that straight." He shielded his eyes and squinted. "Oh no…"_

" _What?"_

 _He took her arm and turned towards the teachers and the students. "Get inside!" he yelled. "Get inside now!"_

Lightning flashed, another crash of thunder followed, another painful throb tore through her. She screamed and writhed. Her eyes, wild and open, saw the storm, saw Mako, saw the children, saw the sky, saw the rain, saw fire, saw blood –

 _Korra!_

"Mako?!"

 _Korra come on!_

"I can't move!"

 _Korra!_

Little feet ran by her, screams filled the air. _Get them inside… Get them inside!_ She was being lifted.

"NO!"

 _I'm not leaving you, come on!_

 _Get them- get them not me!_ "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

Lightning flashed. Thunder crashed. She wasn't blacking out. She was in both worlds.

"MAKOOOO!" She screamed. Then pain, blinding, hot, searing pain shot though her whole entire body. She kept seeing their little faces. She glanced up. There it was, dark, ominous, floating right above her. It glared right at her.

"FUCK YOU! WHAT THE FUCK DO WANT?! GET _OUT_ OF HERE!"

Lightning. Blinding light, more pulsating pain. She screamed again, tears burned trails down her face. There were faces, young faces, right in front of her. She reached for them. "Come on… COME ON!"

 _KORRA!_

"MAKO!"

She screamed, and she cried, and she couldn't make it stop. "Mako please!" she whimpered. Another flash. Another crash. Another wave of pain, and this time, just when she felt she would throw herself over the cliff just to make it stop, it was enough. She lost consciousness, and the storm continued to rage violently about her. It was all Naga could do to lay protectively beside her as the world fell apart around them.

…

 _Korra… Korra._

She opened her eyes.

"Are you okay?"

She was warm. Warm brown eyes gazed down at her. She felt as if she was wrapped in a blanket fresh out of the dryer. "Naga?"

"Oh I was so worried about you!" Her dog licked her face and nuzzled her affectionately.

"Naga you can't talk."

Her dog laughed. "Of course I can! How else would you be able to understand me?"

Korra blinked at her, confused. "What?"

"Come on honey, get on my back."

"...What?" She repeated. Naga lifted her up, and set her on her warm, strong back. Had Naga always been this big?

"Hold on!"

Her fingers grasped fur and the two of them ran. Glided really. Through nothing. Naga seemed to glow, warm and golden, but all around them, there was warm, nothing.

"Look up there."

Korra squinted and saw a soft light glowing just ahead of them.

"What is that?"

"You'll see."

Quietly, Naga continued to run, through the warm nothing, and Korra put her face in Naga's warm white fur and held on tightly, as the light slowly grew closer.

It felt as if she had taken a long nap by the time Naga's muscles stopped moving beneath her.

"We're here." Said her dog. Korra opened her eyes and sat up, and looked around. 'Here' was a desert. Sand as white as snow billowed about her, as far as her eyes could see, there was white sand, and clear blue endless sky.

"What is 'here'?" It was so quiet. Despite it being a desert, it wasn't scorching hot; it was just pleasantly warm.

"It's your resting place." Naga knelt down so Korra could climb off her back. When her toes sank into the sand, she was suddenly aware that she was completely naked.

"My resting place?"

"Yes."

"Why am I here?"

"Why else do people need to rest Korra?" she nudged her gently with her great head and Korra scratched behind her ears. "Because they're tired."

Korra sat in the sand. It was so soft, so warm. She lied down. Closed her eyes. "I am tired."

Naga licked her cheek. "Do you want to stay here?"

She was so warm. She felt so peaceful, like all the barriers in her mind could finally come down, and she didn't have to be afraid anymore. It was like pain and fear no longer existed within her.

"Yes." She felt her body sinking into the sand.

"No you don't Korra." Naga said sadly.

"Yes I do, Naga," Korra argued with her dog. "It feels so good here. I've never felt this good. I could stay here forever."

"No. Not yet."

She continued to sink, and she opened her eyes. Naga filled her vision. She reached for her. Her dog licked her hand. Suddenly, Korra started to cry. "I'm really, really scared Naga."

"It'll be okay." Her image was swimming before her. The sand was all around her, she was almost completely buried.

"Will it? How do you know?"

"It will."

…

She awoke to the scent of eucalyptus and pine, moist earth, rain, and wet dog. A There was a warmth by her side and it wined earnestly. Everything hurt. She struggled to open her eyes. A warm tongue lashed out and licked her face. A wine again.

Korra groaned. With a lot of effort, she pulled herself up into a sitting position. The storm had passed, but water still fell steadily from the soft gray heavens. She was soaked, and cold. Naga snuggled up next to her, licking her and nuzzling her and Korra wrapped her arms around her. With some effort, and some nudging from her dog, somehow, she ended up on Naga's back.

"You really are a big girl." Korra muttered. She leaned forward, and closed her eyes, her fists in Naga's wet fur, and let her dog take her back home.

* * *

 **I know what you're thinking; "yo, what the literal fuck did I just read?" Don't ask me. I have no idea. I just needed to write it.**


	9. Chapter 8: The Storm

**Chapter 8: The Storm**

 **...**

It was close to noon by the time Naga got back to the house with Korra. Katara and Jinora had arrived after the storm let up enough for Katara to get the jeep through to the cove. They found the duo lying on the steps at the front door, covered in mud and soaked to the bone. Korra was unconscious and already burning up with a fever.

"Korra?! Korra!"

Naga wined to Katara, earnestly, and the woman took the young veteran into her arms. "Oh she's burning up- Jinora, here!" she tossed the keys to the jeep to her granddaughter. "You know how to get to my doctor's office? On the east side of town?"

"I- I- don't have my li-!"

"Good! Go get him! She needs serious attention right now!"

"But Gran Gran I don't-"

"Quickly Jinora!" and as the young high school senior still protested and stood unsure of what to do, Katara, with strength unexpected from most old, bent, gray-haired women, took a hold of Korra and heaved her onto her back.

"Gran Gran!" Jinora exclaimed in alarm. She took a step forward to help but Katara turned and her blue eyes flashed fiercely.

"Jinora, I will _not_ tell you again!" At that, the young woman nodded dumbly and stumbled towards the jeep.

"Oh man oh man oh man oh man," she mumbled under her breath as she scrambled to remember everything from studying the student driving instruction book. Her hands shook and her heart was beating wildly, and she talked to herself to try and focus. "Keys… in ignition… turn it- Ahh! Not that hard oh my God! Okay, put it in reverse… Uh… shoot, is gas left or right? Oh my GOODNESS BRAKE!"

As Jinora was figuring driving out as fast as she could, Katara carried Korra inside, all the way down the hall to the bathroom. She deposited her on the floor and undressed her. Working deftly and quickly, she wiped her down with a warm washcloth. As she worked, Korra began to mutter unintelligibly as if trying to escape a dream.

"It's okay sweetheart," Katara muttered. "It's alright, you're safe." When she was clean, Katara picked her up and carried her to her bedroom and set her down on the bed. Korra was beginning to sweat, and her murmurings became more comprehensible as her caretaker tried to pull a nightshirt over her shoulders to conceal her nudity.

"Run…" her voice was raspy and strangled, her fists clenched and unclenched. "Run…"

"It's alright Korra, it's okay," Katara said soothingly. Her eyes darted around the room until they found the bag from the herbal pharmacy resting untouched on the desk. A moment later, she was rubbing lemon balm on Korra's temples, on her chest, and on the back of her head where the cut was healing. The herb did its job; Korra calmed down and began to breathe more steadily, though the look on her face was still disturbed.

…

" _What's your name?"_

" _Korra. What's yours?"_

" _Asono. Do you like my dress?"_

" _It's beautiful, I love it."_

" _Thanks, my mummy made it. I went to the store with her to pick out the fabric."_

" _Well she did a great job, you look like a princess."_

 _Giggles. A little hand grabs hers and pulls her._

" _What is that?"_

" _This is my rifle."_

" _Are you a hunter?"_

" _No, I'm a protector."_

" _Who are you protecting?"_

" _You."_

" _From who?"_

" _Bad guys."_

" _Korra! Come here!"_

 _She looks up. "What?" As she walks over._

" _Look over there." She shields her eyes. "What is it?"_

" _I don't know… Birds?"_

 _He shakes his head. "No… birds don't fly that straight." He shields his eyes and squints. "Oh no…"_

" _What?"_

" _Get inside! Get inside now!"_

 _Explosions. Screams._

" _Run! Run! Korra!"_

" _Mako get them! Run! Run get out of here! No! No! Get them! What are you doing?! Run!"_

 _Screams, darkness, blood… darkness._

" _Do you like my dress?"_

 _Darkness and echoes._

" _My mummy made it."_

 _A little hand in hers. A little smile. Big brown eyes._

" _Who are you protecting?"_

 _You._

 _Blood._

 _Darkness._

 _Screams._

 _Darkness._

 _Echoes._

 _Darkness._

 _Pain._

 _Darkness._

Korra's eyes opened. She was standing, naked, all around her was darkness. It was still, silent. It was not a pleasant silence, it was eerie. Chilly.

"Hello?"

She could see nothing. "Hello!"

 _Korra._

She spun around. "Who's there?"

 _Korra_.

She searched the emptiness, fists clenched ready to fight. "Come out!" she screamed.

 _Come out?_

Her breathing quickened, and vaguely, then more clearly, she heard a terrible clicking noise. It filled her ears and then she looked down at her own chest and watched in horror as the skin moved about then broke as a huge and hideous centipede crawled out. She grabbed at it and threw it away but just as she did another took its place and suddenly they were pouring out of her. She clawed at her skin as they crawled all over her, suddenly all she could see were claws, and pinchers, and bugging black eyes. And then she was falling. Falling through darkness, the horrible bugs fell with her. Red, and parasites, darkness, red, and pinchers, and that awful clicking, and she fell, for hours, she fell.

Then she opened her eyes again. She stood. The bugs were gone. She was in a white room. Three screens stood before her. On each screen floated an image planets in space. Each screen was a different color; one was red, the other yellow, the third, green. Her body felt like lead.

 _WAR._

"What?"

 _THE WAR IS GOOD._

"What are you talking about?"

 _OUR WAR BRINGS FREEDOM._

"War brings death. And pain. Shut up."

It was the red screen, she glared at it, angrily, she found herself walking heavily towards it.

 _THIS WAR IS JUST._

"Shut up!"

 _OUR WAR BRINGS LIBERATION TO THE OPPRESSED._

"You don't know what you're talking about! I was there! I was fucking there!"

 _OUR WAR IS NECESSARY FOR PEACE._

"Stop it! You don't know anything! Shut up! Shut up!" She choked and could feel pressure rising in her chest. "There was nothing wrong! Nothing! There was nothing there! There was nothing there and they killed _everyone_!"

 _OUR WAR IS YOUR WAR._

"SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

She was standing so close to the screen her face grazed it. All she could see was angry red planets zooming through the solar system.

 _THE GREATEST NATION._

"No…" tears streamed down her cheeks. "No… shut up you don't know anything."

 _WE ARE FREE._

"I HATE YOU! I FUCKING HATE YOU! SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

She smashed the screen with her fists, glass flew everywhere and cut her skin, she fell to her knees. Fell into darkness. She floated through, crying. Floating, crying.

Then…

 _Tick_

 _Tick_

 _Tick_

Steadily.

 _Tick_

 _Tick_

 _Tick_

She didn't see it, but she felt it. It was a clock. Ticking, steadily, lightly, ticking, tick, tick, tick, ticking.

She had stopped crying, she didn't know when. She listened to the clock.

"You're stupid," she muttered. The clock ticked. She smiled. "I hate you." It only ticked. She listened. And listened. And listened. And her smiled faded. "Stop that."

 _Tick_

 _Tick_

"Seriously, stop."

 _Tick._

 _Tick_

She started to panic. " _Stop_."

It ticked steadily.

She tried to open her eyes. She needed to find that thing. Needed to destroy it.

"Where are you?"

 _Tick_

 _Tick_

 _Tick_

She was running, reaching, searching, frantically. She was running out of time.

 _Tick_

 _Tick_

 _Tick_

"Stop, please!"

 _Tick_

 _Tick_

 _Tick_

"PLEASE!"

 _Tick_

…

She was sweating and whimpering again.

The doctor wiped his brow and sighed as he watched the former marine struggling with her subconscious.

"What did you do to her?"

"I did nothing. You're just seeing everything she's been carrying inside of her." He dabbed at Korra's forehead with a cool washcloth. "Who is she?" he asked.

"She's Tonraq's girl. He asked me to help her. The way I helped Aang, since she's suffering very much in the way he did." Katara sighed and wrung her hands worriedly. "She'll be okay, won't she? She feels so heavy, and she tried to hide it but… I can feel it. Wherever she is, there's such a heaviness in the air."

"Tonraq's girl," the doctor muttered. Korra whimpered again in her sleep and cried out something incoherent. He shushed her. He lit a small clay cup of herbs and swirled it around her nose. She breathed it in and her breath steadied and she seemed to relax again. "Sleep Korra… You will survive this." He turned to Katara. "We should leave her alone for now." The old woman nodded and the two exited into the kitchen, leaving Naga to continue her faithful watch over her sleeping master.

"Tea?"

The doctor nodded. "Jasmine."

"I know."

He smiled slightly, and watched in silence as she moved about the kitchen. "How are you doing Katara?" he asked. His voice had not lost the huskiness that once sent goosebumps up and down her arms.

She smiled weakly. "I'm alright."

"I've missed you. You should move back for good."

She poured the tea. As she set the cup down in front of him, he took a hold of her cool old hand. "We don't have a lot of time left you know."

"Zuko…"

"I still love you. I've never stopped thinking about you."

She did not pull her hand away. She sat in the chair next to him, and they remained there in a warm silence for a long while. "Me neither." She said finally.

"I think it's time… Katara, please."

"I don't have much left to offer you Zuko." She choked as her eyes began to shine.

"You know that's not true." He smiled at her, and he kissed her forehead. "You've always been my world."

The night had settled in comfortably. The stars were out. The storm which had raged so violently for so long had abated. It was still cold outside, a light mist was settling in it, but the worst was over.

* * *

 **Yes, I know, I'm sorry, this took forever for me to post and it's not even that long. The next one will be better I promise. I cannot say when it will be posted, but hopefully it won't take as long as this one did. I have classes now and they take priority, and I have been doing a lot of writing for them, especially for my playwright class (which is AWESOME).**

 **As always, I didn't proofread this so it's probably a mess. Reviews are appreciated.**


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